CAMpopot

DEAR WEBPAGE,

2009-10-16T00:33:00.001+08:00

You're so not updated!

I feel for you...
I miss you.

XOXO

GOT EGO?

2009-06-26T20:28:00.003+08:00

I honestly love Beyonce.

Well, who doesn't? Just look at those curves, booty and everything. Plus, her songs are somewhat I can relate into. I just love them.

Alongside with Angelina Jolie, she's one of the famous faces I look up to.

Oh baby, how you doing?
You know I'm gonna cut right to the chase
Some women were made but me, myself
I like to think that I was created for a special purpose
You know, what's more special than you? You feel me

It's on baby, let's get lost
You don't need to call into work 'cause you're the boss
For real, want you to show me how you feel
I consider myself lucky, that's a big deal

Why? Well, you got the key to my heart
But you ain't gonna need it, I'd rather you open up my body
And show me secrets, you didn't know was inside
No need for me to lie

It's too big, it's too wide
It's too strong, it won't fit
It's too much, it's too tough
He talk like this 'cause he can back it up

He got a big ego, such a huge ego
I love his big ego, it's too much
He walk like this 'cause he can back it up

Usually I'm humble, right now I don't choose
You can leave with me or you could have the blues
Some call it arrogant, I call it confident
You decide when you find on what I'm working with

Damn I know I'm killing you with them legs
Better yet them thighs
Matter a fact it's my smile or maybe my eyes
Boy you a site to see, kind of something like me

It's too big, it's too wide
It's too strong, it won't fit
It's too much, it's too tough
I talk like this 'cause I can back it up

I got a big ego, such a huge ego
But he love my big ego, it's too much
I walk like this 'cause I can back it up

I, I walk like this 'cause I can back it up
I, I talk like this 'cause I can back it up
I, I can back it up, I can back it up
I walk like this 'cause I can back it up

It's too big, it's too wide
It's too strong, it won't fit
It's too much, it's too tough
He talk like this 'cause he can back it up

He got a big ego, such a huge ego, such a huge ego
I love his big ego, it's too much
He walk like this 'cause he can back it up

Ego so big, you must admit
I got every reason to feel like I'm that bitch
Ego so strong, if you ain't know
I don't need no beat, I can sing it with piano

******

The King of Pop just died today due to full cardiac arrest. Rumors has it that the cardiac arrest was caused by drug use. Oh well. Even with those child molestation charges, the alleged pedophile got the hearts of millions for the past four and a half decades (Jackson started singing at the age of five, together with his brothers in the defamed Jackson 5). Personally I admire him. I can just listen to his songs. It's either I groove with it or just be inspired. His "Man in the Mirror" just give me chills.

WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS

2009-06-22T20:46:00.001+08:00

I don't know what happened but I just found myself sitting in a classroom, in front of a whiteboard, alongside with people I have shared my every days for the past two years now. Just when I was losing hope, God made it a point to have my wish be fulfilled: to graduate on time - next year March.

For the first day, I felt something was absurd. How in the world could it be possible that I am once again sitting in the familiar chair I have never missed for the past 15 years when I thought it would be impossible to do so? That day I also moved into a new home. Though it's a bit far from my school, I felt really lucky how blessings pour in in one day. Those kids appreciated me, something that was seldom to happen these days specially at my own home. I was overwhelmed, tired and exhausted by the end of the day.

Just when I thought everything was finished for me, God showed me how great He is. Maybe I can't understand what He's up to. Well, in the first place I have no idea what He's really up to from the start. I'm just happy and grateful that there's really someone who won't leave me in the dark. Just like what I've realized during last Sunday's mass: I need to relearn how to let go and let God.

You don't know how grateful I am having angels in my mortal life. These everyday angels now giving me new hope to live. Yes, I'm happy but there's one thing that really troubles me. How damn much I miss my mom.

SEEING AN OASIS

2009-06-14T14:34:00.002+08:00

I live in fear.

Have you been in a situation where you love someone but you can't tell anybody about that someone you REALLY love?

My life turned 180 degrees once again. Everything around me seemed new even though they have been there for the almost-twenty-years of my existence (lately I've been telling people I'm a year older already. It seems though I'm more comfortable with an older age). I live now with full of uncertainties. I can't even see where I am standing now. I'm out of school, I have a debt, I'm away from people who really know me, I don't know anymore who really are my friends, I'm away from my oasis. I do not want to be a negative person but this point where I am in now really sucks big time. I keep on asking God what He wants me to see with this kind of burden. I keep asking Him what is the purpose and the end of this "crisis". I don't know whether people around me is telling the truth or the lie. I don't know whom to trust. I don't know anymore who am I going to run into. If only my oasis is only an arm length away.

I do not wish to cry anymore. Enough of the tears, enough of the misery. I am doing whatever I can to be more mature than in the past. Although I can tell it's a very hard thing to do.

I envy my siblings for the fact that they have peer groups. They have group of friends where they can belong to, whom they can run into. On the other hand, in my situation, beside from myself, I only have Tatot (my dog) and my oasis to run into. Now I've realized I have been somewhat a loner. People may find me fun to be with, full of smiles, strong and very independent. With that acknowledgment, how can I possibly tell them what I really feel inside?

I learn to be this strong from my own mom. It did me good to be this strong but it also has its perks. "Ang hirap mo naman biyakin", I was told with that not a long time ago. Why do everytime something like this happens to me I feel so cold inside? My godmother may be right, saying that I should offer every heartache and trials to the Almighty, telling me I should let go. But the problem is, I learned not to let go. I learned to bottle it up all inside, and when I can't hold any longer, never mind the pain and just compress everything to take in more. It is just plain hard. Even if I want to surrender everything, there's a part of me still wants to hold on to that 'everything', even the pain. What am I left when I surrender 'everything'?

Being like this just makes me tell myself that I am being just madrama and I should definitely stop it. I don't pity myself. Even though I can't see where I am standing now, I absolutely know where am I heading. I do not say O don't have faith in God. I trust Him. I know for a fact that change is inevitable. You can't control it. The only thing you can control is how are you going to react with change.

Oh God, despite of everything, I can still carry my burden because you have provided me an oasis. An oasis I really love. Please, I beg you my good God, don't take my oasis away from me.

LOVE MAKES LIFE A LITTLE LESS BORING

2009-05-07T02:44:00.007+08:00

I was all kilig! Got this one from Lou.

do O.R. die

2009-03-22T03:35:00.001+08:00

I thought I've encountered my most challenging experience when I was in high school. I was wrong.

The month we had my Operating Room shift was literally devastating for me. First was the OR cases and experience itself. Second was the pref cards. Third, the nursing case analysis. Then the lit thesis. Add to that the final examination. I was totally sleepless for the two weeks prior the end of the semester.

The experience in OR was indescribable. It's an experience that can either make or break you. I don't know if it either made me or break me. All I know was, I learned from it. I really learned from it.

I don't know if in the future I might be an OR nurse. I may not like it though. It seems that life outside OR doesn't exist once you're in the OR. I understand now why staff there was somewhat grumpy. Well except for Sir Eugene. I really like him. He can be a clinical instructor or a professor because he has this compassion for students and excellent competence. Yeah, he has plans to teach.

With the monster CI and stubborn doctors and staff, people like Sir Eugene is like a fresh air in a polluted city.

THE MINI-FAMILY REUNION

2009-01-01T01:02:00.002+08:00

So for the first day of the new year 2009 was spent for the mini family reunion of Dipasupil clan. Somehow at the end of the day, I felt the same thing everytime I get to meet them.

Why did it made me feel that I should better stay away from them? Maybe we were brought up not-so-close with relatives. But honestly, I really don't like some of them. Especially the two sinisters of the Dipasupil. So eerie. Haven't gotten over to their envy to my mom. They're so envious that they're cold to me and my siblings. Especially to me. I think. I felt it.

Well, nothing more to say. Good thing I was looking forward to my next stop of the new year. Hehehe.

CITY AFTER DARK

2008-12-29T23:45:00.003+08:00

I got these shots taken from the top of Lancaster Hotel. One word: Magnificent!
At least Metro Manila is still beautiful. I guess the altitude and lights hides the city's flaws.

Oh well.

MEETING UP WITH THE PAST

2008-12-29T22:27:00.009+08:00

Last Sunday, Dec. 28, I attended a high school friend's debut at Lancaster Hotel. My high school classmates also held a Christmas party at the same time and date, but I chose to attend to that debut. Anyway, I had committed myself to attend that party earlier last October. So I really have to attend even though I wasn't sure of myself also.

The party place's awesome! The theme was Hollywood. It was like a high school reunion as old acquaintances and some close friends were present.

With Marilyn Monroe...

The birthday girl. Actually her real birthday was Nov.3

Meryl and Glaiza.

Kimuel, high school buddy.

With Jenica.

The cake.

JP's all grown-up!

Oscar awardee. XD

Ace with the same height. XD

Got pretty bored before the party.

It rocked!

I really missed those guys. I had fun laughing with them again. The most fulfilling part? I got to watch Ace and Meryl's kulitan again. Hahahaha.

WHAT REALLY MATTERED?

2008-12-25T01:09:00.007+08:00

Whew.

Life has been a roller coaster ride. Especially this year. Just thinking of everything that had touched my life this year is very "unstable"already. Unstable because there are these different emotions inside of me that makes me have butterflies in stomach.

One of the things I'm really thankful for this year - my baby. I won't elaborate on that. Just visit this site: http://butteredchickencornmuffin.blogspot.com

More than a month ago, the frog finally broke my heart. Nice. I thought I would not be the one who will experience that heartbreak thingy. I was not spared. Damn. I was opening myself already and what happened? I can say I'm still a bit bitter about what happened. Especially when I think of how that frog stole a kiss from me.

Enough of the frog.

More so, I was thankful it DID happen. It doesn't matter now that the frog broke my heart. At least I found someone who really DID care for me. The good news is, he still do care about me. And that, my friend, really mattered. It turns out my buttered chicken. Hahaha! Now I can believe that when person is in love, he/she becomes corny. Hehehe.

One more thing, now I got someone calling me "ate" for a different reason - my baby's sister. And I got another family to check up on - his family.

Well, I guess next year will going to be more one heck of a ride.

TO KISS A PRINCE OR A FROG?

2008-10-31T00:12:00.003+08:00

Being kissed by a person you like but to whom you have no clear ties with, can be considered either a moment of magic or a tragedy.

I know, it has been a moment of magic for me.

Well, at least at the start.

But now, I don't know.

*** end of entry ***

THREE MONTHS AND COUNTING

2008-10-30T23:35:00.002+08:00

Thank God I was that rebellious kid three months ago. My birth month. Things lead to one thing and many other.

It's like Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events. One after another. As if like in a train. Above anything else, it's a good thing I just let things flow.

I found a new "turn" in my life, and everyday life has never been like that of yesterday. I found a new excitement. More importantly, I found new people who happens to be my friends first before business partners and crosslines.=)

I really like the part which I got my own business. I have a new prospective in life. Bigger goals, bigger leap. I like myself better now, though objections never really left me.

There are a lot of things I want to share, however, words are not enough. I really want this one to lasts as long as I live.

As for the issue of the heart, that thing could wait. =p

EXCITED TO DO NOTHING

2008-08-17T01:19:00.003+08:00

It's been three weeks and my life has changed.

Every time I want to write something for my new entry here in my blog, I can't think of words that could best described the hurt, sadness, anger, frustrations, disappointments, joy and laughter I altogether felt for the past several days. Regression is always part of my options. The thing is, I can't afford any time to waste just for me to regress.

The relationship between my mother and I... I can't think of any way how to solve this to return things back to where they used to be. I don't know how to explain myself. I can't think of anything else to do to give way for a reconciliation.

After three weeks of no open communication, I terribly miss her.

There are a LOT of things my mother cannot understand about me. Yeah, and because of that I hurt her so much. I hurt her so much to the point that I am also hurting. I wanted to cry for more than once, but my eyes were always tired even to shed a tear. And besides, even if I did have a good cry, crying never solves anything.

I get the point of my mother, but what I cannot stand is that she pressed to me I am a selfish person. I just hope she could know of my efforts and experiments on how to be close to my family. On how I am struggling to keep the love for family that does not love me back. I can't help but to feel sorry for myself. It's really safe to say there are a LOT of misunderstanding.

If there's a time to regress, I would have that time just for me to think clearly and deeply.

THE MORE I KNOW, THE MORE I BECOME AFRAID

2008-07-20T22:06:00.005+08:00

I am no longer a child.

I came to a point in my life that I no longer need the comfort of my old toys, my pillow, and everything that protects me from the realizations of the world.

Truly, maturity does not come with age. As days passed by, the more I know myself. The more I know myself, the more I become afraid.

What I want and need ten years ago are not the things that I want and need today.

Self control if not just only a virtue, but also a gift. Sometimes, this gift can be put into test. The best thing to do is to stay away from what will bring test to self control.

I am no longer a child, but still dependent. I am dependent, but I have my individuality. I may have my individuality, but I still need to conform. I may no longer be a child, but I am still a daughter.

I am in the process of becoming a woman.

A woman worthy of respect and love.

A woman of essence and strength.

I may be regressing sometimes, but it will be with style.

I can be whatever I want to be. I just have to stay focused.

*Thoughts I have acquired over the weekend.

WANTING WANTED

2008-07-12T18:08:00.004+08:00

After a hell week of sleepless nights, crazy paperworks and crazier quizzes, I found myself seating inside a cinema theater, waiting for the movie WANTED.

I was sleep deprived, yes, but I was there. I want to. I need to.

Vasoconstriction...

Palpitations...

Series of apnea...

Pupillary dilatation...

That's how I want to describe the movie WANTED.

After the movie I suddenly wanted to buy a pellet gun to know how to do that "curving" bullet technique.XD

*Maybe this movie would not sell if it didn't have Angelina Jolie in it. Just take a look on the movie's poster. By the way, Angelina's so hot. XD

WHEN UNEXPECTED HAPPENS, GO LOOK FOR A COVER

2008-07-11T18:49:00.004+08:00

Two weeks had passed and still the memory of that night still send chills to my bone.

I always act so strong but at that moment, fear just ran into me... making me stunned, making me all rigid.

I was there.

I was enjoying myself... Enjoying in the sense that I felt at ease for the time.

Or so I thought.

I never expected such things could happen. And it was all out of fun, at least to the other party.

My heart was pounding... was it because of my medication? And it pounded fast...

Faster...

Faster...

I thought my heart would stop anytime from exhaustion. I can feel the warm air already.

What now?

I made myself gasp for air and breathe into my mouth. That was all I can think of.

And it did work out.

I was relieved.

On rare occasions, not every unexpected things came out as a wonderful surprise. When unexpected happens, either good or bad, the best thing to do is to go and look for a cover then dock.

Bravery and courage sometimes go wimp. They're not as reliable as anybody thinks. Fear is always there, waiting for an opportunity. Might as well bring an extra bag of wits.

I'd like to think brain and heart will always be a separate entity. At least when one fail, trust on the other to work... hopefully.

Because of that moment, I learned to stand firm on what I believe. Even if I missed something because of that belief, it will be ok. There's always an opportunity cost.

So much for a night of no sleep.

FLAMING UP OLD LOVE

2008-07-05T23:29:00.003+08:00

While the subject prior to Literature really annoys me and drives me to my wits, Literature under Sir Hibek is a bomb.

Literally.

I love how he relays the message of a literary piece. His own 'reenactment' of these pieces is awesome and sometimes very moving. Very realistic. Very artistic. Very human.

This week would be the submission of the first project in Literature. For this, I have to go to the library to search for a book by 1956 Nobel Prize for Literature winner, Juan Ramon Jimenez. It's a new experience in my Nursing life. It's the first time I search for a fiction book for study.

Humanities. The section in the central library I once frequented, not to read literary pieces but to study my Psychology and Chemistry book.

To make the short story shorter, I enjoyed my trip to the library. I saw many literary works that fascinated me so much. I suddenly felt the old flame I had couple of years ago. It's like an old flame that was flared up by the books I saw. Books different from the ones I've been used to for some years already.

If these books in Humanities are like oil, then it succeeded in bringing the old flame up. However, just like the oil prices right now, it's not good for the long run.

I imagine my life now would be very different if I chose the other way three years ago...

Whatever.

I still enjoy what I have right now. I'm happy and I'm loving it!

I love Literature.

*I think I just need books other than my textbooks now to read.

DUMB AND STUPID FOR DEVELOPMENT

2008-07-05T22:18:00.005+08:00

I so hate Sociology.

Or should I say I so hate the professor.

I do not understand why there are people in this world like HER (no need to mention names). Ok, I understand the intention is good, especially the subject's intention but I hate the professor's way to deal with her mistakes. I know she's all this and that in religious order, and that she has this thing with social entities. But it's her very being that troubles me.

Take for example, me and my seat mate failed to hear the last word (which was development) in one of her questions for a quiz. My seat mate raised her hand to ask for that word which we failed to hear. Without comprehending first my friend's request, she said in reply, "Is this the first time you heard of that word?"

Damn her and her black and white closet!

As if we were dumb and stupid for that "development". Why not apply in real life what she teaches in so many years?

Well, at least this is one of the few things I completely agreed with Izza. =))

*Reminder, this is a free blog.

ALL HAIL SAINT JOLLIBEE

2008-06-25T16:49:00.003+08:00

Fast food chains nowadays become very convenient especially for people who have busy schedules, and on tight budget. They offer cheap, tasty, and ready-to-go food selections that meet the taste of young and aged customers alike. Fast foods become so popular that it would be a rare, if not impossible, case if you met somebody who has not yet been to any fast food chain in his/her lifetime. Of course, with the exception of those who are of different civilization (ex. Indigenous groups).

The documentary “Supersize Me” has been an eye-opener for the damage fast foods can do to consumers who have them on regular basis. The creator of Supersize Me did a courageous, bold, and direct approach on unraveling the truth behind these popular fast food chains, particularly McDonald’s.

Without realizing it, fast foods play a role in building and maintaining relationships: between parent/s and child, between a couple, among friends, and among families as a whole. One of the happiest memories I had is when my mom brought as a Happy Meal as a “pasalubong” after she had gone for the whole day. My friends and I usually hang out at McDonald’s, exchanging endless stories. My siblings and I usually have bonding moments at a local fast food chain. Need I say more?

Looking back on your childhood, have you ever experience your mom or dad treating you to Jollibee or McDonald’s whenever you behave well during a mass every Sunday? Or rewarding you with a trip to Jollibee or McDonald’s for a job well done? The practice of rewarding kids with a treat to fast food chains might have a long-term effect as these kids would prefer foods serve in these establishments rather than those home-prepared foods which are more nutritious as they grow older. Remember the TV commercial with a kid who prefers to eat only fried chicken? How about the one which shows kids who love to eat spaghetti prepared in fast food chains?

Notice how small kids would excitedly hug Jollibee’s statue outside the entrance. These kids seem to be fascinated to the very enlarge red bee with a half-suit and bow tie. Once I did compare these kids to those aged people who make “pahid” to their patron saints. If this is the scenario, Jollibee could be called a saint as well. May be Jollibee is as popular as Jesus Christ to these kids. However, blaming these kids alone for their attitudes toward the enlarged red bee would be imbecile.

The said documentary did not only pose various threats facing addicted fast food consumers but it also presented that neglecting fast food consumption is not far from being possible. Surely, the owner of Baskin & Robbins did prove it was possible. Moreover, not all fast food are evil. The example for the “good” one would be Subway.

Here in the Philippines, while many of us could not really afford to fill-up in Subway, patronizing the big red bee would be the quickest solution. If budget could not still fit to any big bee house, the most convenient resort to run into is the street foods. Proven, fried chicken skin, would contain as much cholesterol and fats than anything on the menu of McDonald’s or Jollibee. Along with proven are calamares, kwek-kwek, fishballs, kikiam, day-old chick…just to name a few.

These options, whether or not it poses threats to their regular customers, would always be the popular choice. They’re clean, fast, and tasty as opposed to many “lutong-bahay” where sanitation and taste is always a question. However, this popular choice would always have a corresponding consequence. It is up to us whether we are to follow the cravings of our taste buds or should we opt for a wiser choice. As the popular cliché goes “Lahat ng bawal, masarap”.

*Nutrition reaction paper, submitted to Prof. Luy.

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

2008-06-25T16:31:00.005+08:00

“What is your name?”

Perhaps this question was the first question you encountered a lot of times when you were a toddler. May be people around you did not really care what your name is, as they could ask this first to your parents, but they were interested to know if you, at your age at that time, could say your own name.

But as you grow up and, of course, mature, answering the “what is your name?” question would be a whole lot much easier than answering “Who are you?”

And for this matter, “Who am I?”

Answering this question would need more than knowing my status or my own achievements. For example, if I answer this question with “I am a student nurse of UST” it does not answer the “who am I?” but rather the “what am I?”

Oftentimes, one may perceive the “who am I?” question easy to answer. Think again. This question is not answerable by any questions in the bio data, or in autograph books I used to have when I was in grade school. Answering this question will need a concrete knowledge one self.

If I am to answer this question ten years ago, my answer would be much different from the answer I will have ten years from now. Inconsistent, isn’t? Would you really know who I am if there are inconsistencies? Maybe yes but not really, as change is the only permanent thing in this world.

When Jesus asked his disciples “who do you think I am?” only Peter gave the right answer. Unlike other disciples whose answers were based on rumors, Peter based his answer on the truth itself. Peter was sure of himself, of his answer, and of Jesus.

What did Peter answer? “You are the Messiah, Son of the Living God.” Notice how Peter knew Jesus, not by his name as it is, neither where Jesus came from nor what does Jesus do. Peter knew Jesus by his purpose and from whom he came from. This answer was given by Jesus two millenniums ago, and it will be the same truth two millenniums from now.

Every time I hang out in a bookstore, I never fail to notice countless books that would say how to truly know your self, how to be what you want to be, how to make the most out of life or even how to make yourself famous. With their catchy titles and some readers’ critics, sometimes I want to buy some of these books, as though they really can help me know myself, thus helping me to know who really I am. To top all of these books, one author say otherwise.

Rick Warren, author of the phenomenal book The Purpose Driven Life, said that the key in knowing thy self is not to focus on own self but to focus on the One who created the self. Through this way one can truly know self as one will know his/her purpose and that purpose will define who that self is.

So, who am I?

For me, no one could answer that but me. No books could answer that for me. I believe the one who can really answer that question is my Creator. Until I see my Creator face to face, that’s the only time I could say who I am.

As of now, I really do not have a concrete answer for that question. Goals and wishes do not count as answers, isn’t? Though right now, I can say I am a human striving, seeking, and a becoming.

That is who I am.

I am who I am.

*Philosophy 5 (Christian Ethics) paper, submitted to Prof. Aboy.

INHERITING A WONDERFUL GENE

2008-06-22T21:35:00.007+08:00

Last night, at the onset of a public signal number 3 storm, I was in Makati partying with some of my classmates. It was King's birthday celebration party, and it was a blast.

Drink all you can - why not? Seize the opportunity! Never mind the thousands of calories! Feel free to feel the guilt afterwards! Darn.

Cocktails and shots went endless until waaaay past midnight. We were seated in front of the bar, so imagine all drinks were tasted by us, of course, before they go to the right drinker.

In the midst of loud music and partying people, I made a realization: My alcohol intake tolerance level is surprisingly high. Maybe that's why after everything I had last night, I just felt tipsy but after sometime, I'm all well again, ready to take another round.

When I discussed this with my mom, she said maybe I inherited something from my dad she definitely don't like. According to her, my dad is like a funnel when it comes to drinking.

I was kind of glad about it. So far, I've never been wasted after drinking. For me, wasted people are trying hard and kind of cheap. But the thing is, I was kind of afraid, too. Now that I know my alcohol tolerance, I'm afraid of drinking so much, much that I would gain big belly and lot of pounds.

Self-control is really a virtue.

By the way, thanks Pa.

*To all people who love being wasted: Why drink an amount of alcohol you know you can't handle? Practice self-control and learn to feel yourself, dude. It's not cool to vomit everything around.

A PART OF MY FIRST LOVE

2008-06-22T19:31:00.005+08:00

For the first time in my nursing student life, there finally came a subject closest to the course I was predetermined to take: Journalism/Creative Writing.

Literature under Mr. Hibek is not-your-average-class. With all the green thoughts, words, actions, expressions, and all, there's no dull moment. True, sometimes Sir Hibek go overboard, but I still like the subject itself. After all, it's a part of my first love.

The past week we discussed what life is. It's kind of interesting enough to talk about something subjective. It's refreshing thought after spending 2 whole years talking nothing but objective.

According to these people, this what life is:

Shim:

"Life is a like a ferris wheel. You're sometimes up, sometimes down."

Britten:

"Life is a give and take process. You lose some, you win some."

Haron:

"Life is a big surprise. You never know what will happen next."

Drew:

"Life is a bitch."

Sir Hibek found the last one interesting. It's true that Drew, in his early stage of life, saying these words is such an absurdity. I like what Sir Hibek said in reply,

"If life is a bitch, there's no hope at all. There's nothing good at all in life. Maybe life is a bitch for you, but how about the people who would trade anything to stay in alive? Those people who are willing to par millions to maintain their life?"

Though it's not the exact words, I still love the whole idea. I suddenly remembered the first time I assisted in a delivery. Surprisingly, the next moment, I was teary-eyed.

But just like what Sir Hibek said:

"Life is what you make it."

And this is what I was thinking about.

For the first meetings, I was hesitant to recite. I was a writer but not a speaker. I find it hard to speak the words in my mind, but like what I said, it's easy for me to write.

And my first recitation in Lit 101: "I think the definitions of life my classmates said were based on their own experiences. If Drew said life is a bitch, perhaps something bitchy is happening or has happened to him. It's just a matter of perspective, of how you deal with life."

Maybe I would really enjoy this subject. Whatever higher batch would say.

After all, this is a part of my first love.

A VOCATION, NOT JUST A PROFESSION

2008-06-11T22:38:00.004+08:00

15th first day of classes.

Not overly excited, but nonetheless I was excited to wake up this morning. I missed my RLE mates terribly! I also missed everybody else (Para walang away).

Orientation: So-so.

Not much difference than the past orientations at the start of semesters. Except those "tougher" CI's and more "challenging" areas.

Of course, what on earth an RLE orientation will be without the hours of talks? Talks which I found good because it's like value reformation as a true Thomasian nurse.

I forgot his name, but what CI that will be in OR quoted about the what Sharon Cuneta said in her movie CAREGIVER,

"I care about my job, Sir; I care about you."

But to a Thomasian nurse, this would be:

"I care about you Sir, and I care about my job."

This simply means the difference between the value of a nurse and a caregiver. I'll explain no more. I :D

There was one speaker today, a former Level III head. She talked about Nursing as a vocation, not just a profession. I really liked what she said, even if half of what she said I already forgot. Blame my short short-term memory.

*****

I met my classmate's younger brother today on my way home from the department store. Grabe. I didn't expect her brother to be tall and good-looking. But then, why should I be surprised when my classmate is also cute, beautiful in a simple way.

Anyway, back to her younger brother, the boy's in the same college as I and he's a freshie. A hot freshie actually. Hahaha. I counldn't help but to glance several times on him. He's that cute. Really. Raging girly hormones part 3?? Hahahaha.

No way.

For one BIG reason: he's way too young for me. Imagine he's 3 years younger! I remember a guy I once 'rejected' because he's 3 days younger. Crushing on him would make me feel like a matrona! LOL.

I can say he's a good kid by the way he nodded to me by the time he and her sister get off the jeepney. It's like he's respecting an older sister. Another LOL.

*****

I went online just now to make another entry here in my blog. My Kuya Arvin was also online. It's unusual for us to talk via instant messaging. Just now, he broke a news to me that I find either good or bad. His girlfriend wants to break up with him.

I find it bad, of course, because I know and I can feel that right at this moment he's so sad. I know him. He really loved the girl. I really love him for me to feel his pain right now, although we are kilometers apart.

I find the news as a good one, because that would mean he can now spend more time to me just like before. Maybe this would sound a little awkward, especially to people who don't know my relationship with Kuya Arvin. Let's just put it this way: we are siblings made in heaven.

I hope we'll meet tomorrow so that I can console him. I like to share the sadness he's feeling.

I pray he'll recover soon and hope soon he will find a girl who will love him back just as much as he love the girl.

*Would you pray for him too?

WHAT CAN'T KILL YOU WILL MAKE YOU STRONGER

2008-06-10T12:17:00.005+08:00

Last day of summer vacation...

Maraming plano ang hindi nangyari. Hanggang drawing lang. Pero ano naman ngayon? Marami din naman ang nangyari at nagawa ko ng hindi ko inaasahan.

Mamaya maya aalis na ako dito sa bahay. Hindi ko na maaabutang dumating ang mga kapatid ko. Nag-aalala na ako para sa kanila. Mamaya kasi wala na ang hapunan na masarap. Pabalik na dito si Ate Beth. At pabalik na din sila sa mga luto ni Ate Beth.

Hay.

Kumapara sa isang cycle, parang ganun kasi lutuin ni Ate Beth. Oo nga at walang reklamo sa kasipagan niya pero pagdating sa pagluluto, iilan lang kasi ang alam ni Ate Beth na lutuin. Ayaw niya ung mga "patcham" (pachamba). Gusto nya lahat ng lulutuin niya sigurado ang pangalan.

Alam ko kahit hindi nila sabihin, alam ko ngayon mamimiss talaga ako ng mga kapatid ko. =))

Kaya bilang pagpapaalam, gumaawa ako ng leche flan. :D

*****

Official start of classes na bukas. Gigising na naman ng maaga at late na naman ang pagtulog.

Kahit pasimula pa lang ang summer vacation, marami na akong nababasang blog entry mula sa mga ka-batch ko tungkol sa magiging situation sa 3rd year. Med surg, pharma, OB at Pedia abnormal, patho-physio at kung anu-ano pang subjects na sabi nila mahirap.

Siguro nga mahirap talaga. Pero ano naman ngayon? Syempre 3rd yr na so mas mahirap na talaga. Hindi yan dadali. Medyo nakakainis nga eh. Bakit kasi wala pa nga pinoproblema na nila agad yun. Hindi nila alam tinatakot lang lalo nila mga sarili nila. Kung takot talaga sila, bakit hindi sila maging handa? Kung magrereview sila kahit papaano, bawas na takot nila.

Ewan ko pero parang ayos lang sakin kung ano man ang dumating. Lalo na ngayon na hindi naman mahalaga sa nanay ko na Dean's Lister ako. So what kung mahirapan ako? Normal lang yan. Maramirami akong kakilala na higher batch na nahirapan din pero so far humihinga pa rin naman sila. Sabi nga, "What can't kill you will make you stronger".

Kaya kung ano man ang magiging pahirap ngayong semester o ngayong taon: sige lang.

Sabi ko pa naman sa sarili ko bago magbakasyon, pagdating ng May magbabasa-basa ako ng mga libro ko. Review lang ba. Pero dahil tinamad ako at iba ang mga binasa ko, ok lang na hindi ako nakapag-review. Masaya naman ako.

Ang inaalala ko lang eh ilang oras kaya maitutulog ko lalo na tuwing tuesday at Wednesday 1pm pa simula ng duty. Hindi ko kasi kaya matulog ng matagal kahit sobrang puyat pa.

Isa pa rin pala sa mga inaalala ko: paano ko pa mapagbibigyan ang mga hilig ko sa pasukan. Lalo na kapag inatake na ako ng katam. Masama ito. Tsk tsk tsk.

*****

Parang magandang i-quote dito line ng napanood kong movie kailan lang.

"Bring it on, b*tch!"

*Kumontra pangit. =))

BITTER IS BETTER

2008-06-08T21:07:00.008+08:00

I was dog tired yesterday. In the morning: wet market trip. Mid-morning: made turon and spaghetti for my sister's classmates (talk about house crashing!). Mid-day: supermarket trip. Afternoon: time to prepare dinner. Evening: time to tidy up the kitchen and other stuffs. Moreover, I woke up early at 6am and slept late, 1am.

So when I was in the supermarket shopping for groceries, I decided to treat myself with my craving and my comfort food: BITTER/DARK CHOCOLATE. I don't known when I start to like dark chocolates than milk ones. I just find them somewhat relaxing to eat. I'm tired of eating sweet milk chocolates, with nuts, fruit and nuts, rice crispies, etc. This time I want plain and bitter. I love darks to death!

Goya chocolates are not new to me. Since the time I can recognize things already, I know Goya from the "untouchable" chocolate lane. It's a local chocolate and local chocolate means rough mouth feel, too sweet and not as satisfying as other imported chocolates. Heck, I still eat FLAT TOPS!

When I saw the Goya products in the chocolate lane, I was surprised. I didn't know they have "evolved" already. Fancy packaging, though I was still clueless from the taste. Unfortunately, I am particular about that. Quality, not quantity, matters. (Note this one; one of the secrets for good living)

I was picking from the foreign brands because I thought 1.) Goya does not have bitter ones and 2.) if there is one, I wasn't so sure about the quality. I picked one from a foreign brand I don't know. It doesn't matter, though. After all I'm after the quality and not the brand.

But when I saw this Goya Dark Mints, I couldn't resist picking it up. It's dark and it's mint and it costs P24.50! Amazing, isn't? So the box was in my cart. Honestly, I wasn't so excited in eating it.

Earlier this afternoon, I was in the verge of hypoglycemia. Remembering my recent purchase, I grab the posh box out of the fridge and 'awesome' moments followed.

Posh box flap opened...

Golden wrapper came out...

Golden tray came out of golden wrapper, containing 12 dark mints...

First bite...

I LOVE IT!

You wouldn't believe it's a local! That's why when I try to searched for the company in the net, many blogs already talked about the chocolate. Dark Mint is really a bomb. Hahahaha.

But somehow, I thought it would be better if Goya would use locally produced cocoa beans. Since Goya is now a part of Nestle, perhaps it should make a move in helping the local farmers and in reviving the cocoa industry of the country. Just like what Nestle did to the local coffee.

I miss our cocoa tree.

Check it out yourself.

Try it even if you're not a dark chocolate lover.

Treat yourself real good once in a while. Just remember, quality does not always depend on the price.

You deserve it.

*Photo grabbed from http://riajose.wordpress.com/2008/05/23/goya-dark-mint-chocolates-and-more-goya/#comment-1765

MY EYES ADORED YOU

2008-06-04T23:40:00.004+08:00

It's my dad's birthday today.

It's been so long since he had me in his arms.

Every year, when this day comes, I feel like I really miss him. I still have the fondest memories with my dad. According to my mom, among us three, I was his favorite. Maybe because when I was younger people always say that I look like my father. Father's pride, eh?

Earlier when I reminded my mother that it's Papa's birthday today, she said it's good that I remember things like this. Huwag lumimot sa pinanggalingan. I know my mom's life was not easy when my dad's still alive. However, mom said that if there's one thing she prided my father of, it was his love for us, especially for me. She told me that Pa's the one looking after us, feeding us, bathing us, and even do the laundry for us when she's at work. It made me think how great my father's love for us to think that he'd done menial chores when he's a police officer.

Often times, I think about how our life would be if my father's still alive. Maybe it's a whole lot different than this. My perception on things would have been different. Experiences would be different from the experience I had during the years. And the list of differences would go on and on and on...

One thing is for sure: God is ever wise and knows everything and has a great plan for all His creations. If El Supremo did not have that "event" on His plan, maybe I wouldn't have experienced great things life had brought me ever since. I f I have the chance to live my life again and choose the people who will stay forever by my side, I wouldn't do it. Why should I?

These things, whenever I think of them, always give me head ache. It's better for me to stop thinking on these things as even though I'll die thinking it through, I will not solve any of life's mysteries. Simply because that is the way it is. El Supremo, it is.

It's just that, happy birthday Papa. I hope wherever you are, you're happy. Please be our guardian and guide. I love you.

*****

I had just finished watching "You Got Me" and "My Big Love", both starred Toni Gonzaga and Sam Milby. I got inspired by the later. I LOVE MACKY! Anyway, the movie gave me a new but quite old idea of my would-be man: a good cook (better be chef) and quite "huggable". =))

However, this idea doesn't matter at this time: I'm too lazy for a roller coaster ride of emotions.

I fell in love with the theme song of You Got Me, My Eyes Adored You. I didn't like the movie that much, though I didn't say I hate it. So-so. Here's a version from the lead actor and actress.

Track01 -

"My eyes adored you,
Though I never laid a hand on you
My eyes adored you,
Like a million miles away from me you couldn't see
How I adored you:
So close, so close and yet so far"

Good night. I got to do the laundry tomorrow. Again.

PEACHES & TATOT

2008-06-02T20:13:00.011+08:00

My family have two dogs.

With some unspoken reasons/demands, I am the one in-charge of them. I like to share them with you.

Tatot

The first dog, Tatot, she came to us when she's still a puppy. I think she's only two or three weeks when our laundry maid gave her to us. Tatot supposedly a replacement of Baby, who died for some reasons. Tatot has been with us for more than 6 years.

Tatot, as a puppy, was not so much well taken cared of. We did give her food and the usual but not the kind of care I normally give on our dogs. I was still emotionally attached to Baby that time, and I thought she's not a beauty like Baby. No one ever cared to give her a name, so I just called her Tuta.

As Tuta grew, of course I still have the silent command: bathe the dog regularly. Time passed, I made a connection with her. She's a great dog just like Baby. Every time I get some good scolding (and spanking), I would rush to the kubo and Tuta would always be at my side as if sharing with the tears I cried. I play with her when nothing inside the house interests me. I love how her eyes looks when I cuddle her. Tuta turned into adult so her name was a bit inappropriate. With word play and all, thus the name TATOT.Tatot is really a sweet dog. She would rush into me every time I call on her. If I am at home on weekends, it seems she is so excited to see me and really would take an effort to cling on me. She's a unique dog, too. After Ming was "sent" away, she left behind a nursing kitten. This kitten sought refuge with Tatot and see her as her mother. One day, to our surprise, Tatot was breastfeeding the kitten even though Tatot never bore any puppy! She would also licked it like one of her own specie.

Peaches

Last year, January, a kin of my Tito Rey need to get rid some of his 13 dogs in his condominium unit in Manila. As he knows he can trust us to take care one of his beloved dogs, he gave us Peaches. An adorable name for a dog, though. Since she came here at weekday, I was so excited to get home that weekend. While reading my books, I was thinking what kind of a dog Peaches is like? I can't explain how excited I was back then.

Arriving here, I first looked for the new dog. And there she was. White fur with brown spots. She's a beauty, I thought. She's still frightened, so she's still untamed.

I want to cuddle her immediately but that was impossible. So the whole weekend was spend on taming her. My patience paid off. By the time I was leaving for another school week, she's already licking my hands.

Peaches, along with her powerful barks and growls, is afraid of things normally a dog would not mind. She's afraid of the sound of fire crackers or anything that sounds like it. She's afraid of smoke. Every time she hears a fire cracker, even the faintest sound would send her whimpering and puking and tossing her bowl wildly. She whimpers at the sight of smoke.

One thing that really puzzled me is that Peaches really really HATES cats.

Every time she sees one, she'll bark madly. If unleashed, expect her to be in a killing spree. So far, Peaches has killed five kittens, descendant of our first cat Ming.

Peaches did not grew up with us. I don't know what the dog has gone through to experience such trauma. All I know is that she's very lovable dog, with her being playful, hyperactivity, and soft fur.

Even if each of them requires individual attention and care, I wouldn't mind. Even if Peaches annoys me with her soft pink tongue, I wouldn't mind. Even if Tatot always give me a hard time when it's time to give her a bath, I wouldn't mind. These two dogs are like my angels. They never let me down or get me upset for so long. They make me feel things will go fine. I just wish I they could be with me as long as forever.

Have you seen the movie "All Dogs Go to Heaven"? Being with them makes me feel I am in a bit of that.

MORAL: Big things come from little, and sometimes, unattractively wrapped packages. Big packages does not mean big things inside.

BUTTER CREAM FROSTED WEDDING CAKE

2008-05-31T20:24:00.006+08:00

Right now, I'm too tired to think.

Without Ate Beth to do the everyday chores, I'd say all responsibilities are passed unto me. Since I came back from enrollment, list of things to do is endless. Don't forget that I have to make meals for the family - me, Tin, Kuya and occasionally, Tito Rey.

I love cooking for my family but what I hate is that I have to clean all the utensils and pots and pans that I used. I need to wake up early as possible so that I can do more work like sweeping the backyard and inside the house, cleaning the dirty kitchen, and all sort of tidying up. I haven't started yet the laundry and the last time I checked on it, clothes are already making a small mountain.

I missed Ate Beth. Ate Beth's monthly salary is all worthy of her industriousness.

I envy her.

It's been only 3 days passed since Ate Beth set foot to return to her province. Yet, I don't know if I could last through next week without throwing any tantrums. However, I know I must control my temper. Besides, I'm the adult (physically, mentally and emotionally) among us three.

And I have the highest amount of tuition fee among us three kids of my mom.

I guess that explains why I must to do all the chores even without asking help from them. This is a pay-back time.

How long should I be doing this job?

Come back early Ate Beth!

I swear, I can't be a plain housewife in the future. Must find someone who could accept this. =))

*****

I also swear, if I have a choice, I would live in a condominium or in an apartment. Big houses and mansions do not have appeal on me. My mom and I share the same reason: big house means a lot of work. Even if I have the means to hire a dozen of house helpers.

Donald Trump has a home that values over $125 million. He tried to sell it, cutting the price off with $25 million. It was the "biggest knock-out" price. Trump's house is a bit cheap as compared to other expensive homes that cost $165M.
This one costs $165M, located at Beverly Hills, California.

Maybe single-family houses that cost over $125 million deserve many 'oooohhhs' and 'aaahhhs'. But that's it.

Seriously, imagine a family of five go through a day without seeing each other. A family is not just a group of people living in one roof. No matter how large that roof is.

*****

For many times during these days, I always think of what my life will be a decade from now.

And for some reasons, one thing I imagine the most is my wedding cake with butter cream frosting. No fondant, no matter how elegant the cake will look. I'll keep the fantasies alongside with it to myself. :D

Damn right.

I'm too tired to think.

Further info about $125M and up houses: http://finance.yahoo.com/real-estate/article/105135/America's-Most-Expensive-Homes

BICEPS, ANGULAR FACE, TRAFFIC ENFORCER

2008-05-30T18:29:00.003+08:00

Can't remember the exact date.

But this happened only this year.

Around 6:30-7:00 pm.

My high school classmate and I had an agreement to watch the sequel of a flick we saw the previous year. We agreed to watch it at the nearby mall. Of course I will have to take a ride. Even if I consider it as a walking distance, it would be too dangerous at that time.

I was in a bad mood that night. The reason? I'll keep it to myself.

As I boarded a jeepney, right away I noticed the driver.

He was more than you can think of.

I can't seem to take off my eyes with his big biceps, angular face, smooth lightly tanned skin. I can see he's a bit height-advantaged, too. (READ: instant pagnanasa).

Oh well.

Maybe it's not plain pagnanasa. Maybe I was just dumb founded to see a jeepney driver who looks more of a model. Part-time jeepney driver, part-time model? Pwede rin.

Arriving at the mall, I didn't want to leave off just yet. Take me anywhere with you!

I was too excited to tell this to my friend.

That happened months ago.

This week, last Wednesday, I came back to Manila for the enrollment on Thursday. I was boarded on a jeepney again. Another jeepney in front of the one I was in was hailed over by a traffic enforcer.

Then hailed jeepney's driver's head stuck out to speak with the officer.

To my surprise, it was him!

I can't help but to put up a smile. It was silly, of course. I looked to another passenger and he smiled at me. Heck. Baka akala niya sinto-sinto ako.

That night, I couldn't help but to think of him. Surprisingly enough, as I was thinking of him, I looked at my clock and it said "11:11 pm". Could this be true? Watch Witch Yoo Hee to understand what I mean. =))

FYI: I'm not in love with him.

Duh.

I can't help to be intrigued that's why I'm thinking of him until now. A lot of questions going through my mind. I know you would be like me if you saw him.

He's like a version of Mark Agas from the Faculty of Medicine.

LOL.

LIFE ON THE EXPRESSWAY

2008-05-27T22:01:00.005+08:00

A shocking news sprung this morning: two of Ate Beth's siblings died due to an accident early this morning and her niece, the one she's sending to school back in Leyte, is in the hospital.

It took me a moment to absorbed the news into my brain. Even though I have never seen Ate Beth's siblings, the news affected me just as much because Ate Beth have been part of our family for more or less 8 years. I have met her niece, Kristy, when the kid took a vacation here in our house. She was so young back then. Now, imagining the little Kristy that I knew lying in the hospital bed with cast and all is simply just horrible.

After the news, I cannot think of a way how could I show my sympathy with Ate Beth. To all the people that knew "Betcha", as she is fondly called, she is always bubbly and fun to be with. At her attitude and physique, people hardly can say that she's already 30. How much pain and sadness she's going through now is I don't know. To think that yesterday was her mother's death anniversary

Through out the day I have been thinking of the news. As I was thinking of it, I can't help but to think of my own two siblings. No matter how much careful one is, accident happens anytime. What if in a click of fingers my two sibs are gone? What if in a split of a second any one in my family is gone?

This past three weeks my sister and I did not acknowledge the presence of one another. Literally. I mean physically we co-exist but in other aspects, for the two of us, we were ghosts. Fortunately, our relationship now is back to normal. Whatever that normal means.

It just struck me real hard, "what if in the span of that three weeks either of us was gone?" There is like a stone in my chest that pains me whenever I think of this. This thought also gives me goosebumps.

As Murphy's Law put it:

"If anything can go wrong, it will"

Keeping this law in mind, I promise, from this moment onwards, every argument will end before the hour ends, anger will only last for ten minutes utmost, and every love one will be closer than before. And if I am to forget these things, this blog will prove its worth.

Once is enough, twice is too much.

I definitely don't need another gun shot wound for me to realize what should be realized.

*Eternal rest grant unto them O Lord, and let your perpetual light shine upon them. May they rest in peace. AMEN.

BMX... WHAT THE HELL?

2008-05-26T18:41:00.007+08:00

I started this day early. As in super early. As early as 5:10 am. Actually 5:15 am. I snoozed my alarm clock for an extra five minutes. It was so cold to let go of my blankie and to open my half-dead eyes.

The reason why I woke up early: I NEED to learn how to ride a bike before school starts. I need to do it today and for the rest of the week. I must learn fast. My teacher, my elder brother, will be in school next week. So this week's the only time and chance I got.

I feel so down right messed up. While other kids of my age are learning how to drive a car, I am learning how to balance right in a bicycle. Better to put the feeling aside.I think. With my younger sister now knows how to ride one,I am more than determined to ride a bike before I hit my 19th birthday. Mark my word. (In Filipino: "Itaga mo sa bato")

The best place to learn how to bike: SAMPALOC LAKE. (where else?)

Upon arriving, my brother and I can't find at least one available bike for rentals. Damn. I should have predicted it. What am I going to expect in early Monday morning? We waited, and opt for a chit-chat.

The next thing happened is what you call another 'bonding moment' with my brother. I see my relationship with my brother is quite improving, eh? At least I can say that he has improved a lot, though I honestly think that he needs to mature more so I can give him more of my trust.

W e talked about why I was not able to learn a bike when we were just little kids. The truth is, he's so selfish that he did not want his bike to be touched. And that, my friend, is my story.

Another interesting topic: why he and his girlfriend are not together anymore. So on and so forth.

Fortunately, we found a bike to rent few moments later. I claimed the following conversation to be true:

Ako: Manong, pwede na ba kami mag-rent ng bike?
Manong: Yung nasa tabi pwede na.
Ako: San po?
Manong: Ilan ba? Dalawa? Ano ba gusto nyo? Yung BMX?
Ako: The hell... anong BMX?

Ok, the last line was for myself to hear. Naturally I'm not rude to people. Yeah.

Then I learned from my brother BMX is just a kind of bikes that is neither too small nor too big. Just the right size. Used for extreme sports.

Cool.

So we took the 'BMX' to a spot where only occasional passers-by can see you struggling to ride a bike at my age. The lesson started. It was absolutely hard. Period.

As determined as I was, I was annoyed by a kid, around age 10-12, in a bike taller that he is. Too arrogant. Brother said that kids like that are naturally mayabang with that biking abilities. Damn them.

Bitter.

It started raining so the biking session lasted for only 20 minutes. That's enough for today, I think. In a short time I felt pain in my lower back and I have no plan to catch some colds from staying under the rain.

I was happy today. I really did noticed how my Kuya changed. He now knows how to take care of his younger sisters. He even gave me the handkerchief of his girlfriend for me to wipe the dirt from my legs and to be used as a shield from the rain. He never done that before. Though a bit immature, I felt that for the first time ever, my brother is finally now a real Kuya.

Can't wait for another biking session to come.Can't wait for the moment that I am able to ride a bike at last. Can't wait to take my first lap around the lake. Can't wait to call some friends and invite them for a biking spree. Can't wait to be in the biking area of CCP Complex, just like the old times. Can't wait to have my hair be blown by the wind while I ride the bike (hell yeah, cheesy, but I want that).

Can't wait for Wednesday.

* Picture taken when Kath visited here in Laguna.

OF CHEFS, CUISINES, AND ITLOG MAALAT

2008-05-20T17:06:00.007+08:00

I don't know why I hate the Iron Chef Morimoto. He's actually good in plating and scores high in taste. I guess what I really hate is his protein-packed dessert. Makes me want to puke and at the same time wonder how he got it all right.

***

While adding a newly found friend (Ate Ems) in Friendster, I came across the profile of a pretty famous chef, Chef Rob Pengson! Wow. That's pretty awesome, you know. I didn't think that he got one knowing that he's all busy and every thing. He's one of the few guys who got brawns as well as brains to match. I really like to watch his show on QTV every Sunday night. I love his creative ideas when it comes from cooking to plating. He got some style, too. More than anything else he's only 28! I absolutely adore him.
According to his profile (stalker mode), his significant other is another locally renowned chef, Chef Sunshine Puey. I guess these two will bring another family of culinary experts just like the Galangs. Imagine how lucky their would-be kids. Every meal is a gourmet! I honestly envy these two. I hope to find someone who has a kitchen in his heart (whatever, I just like to put it that way).I really want to enroll in a culinary school. I think I can do great. But with that 100K tuition fee, I think it's better for me to finish my current course first and work my ass off second, so that I can pursue this thing. Oh I almost forgot. I need to double my ass to work off. There's still that med school thing.

I just can't get it why Chef Rob would dislike Bobby Flay. I like Bobby Flay, though.

***

At 3:45 this afternoon, it's still raining steadily. Got in the mood in making some champorado. Badtrip. No sticky rice around. While watching TV, I indulged myself in one of my comfort foods: itlog maalat with lots of tomatoes. Too good for a merienda. Nyam nyam!

***

Every cuisine has its trademark. As far as I know, French got this "finesse" style of cooking, Thai has the "that hot flavor" (as Rachel Ray put it), Chinese has the wok and bamboo steaming, American got the meat and all grills, Italian, its herbs and pasta, Mediterranean got the cheeses and olives and Indian got the curry powder. Japanese got it raw.

I became a fanatic of cooking shows in Food network. Watching these shows, I could not help but to compare Filipino cuisine from the others. How come Filipino cuisine has not yet establish a name in the international cuisine? There are so many good stuff Filipinos create.

Then I made my own realization. As Filipinos are creative, our dishes are somewhat exotic. From bagoong to kinalburong isda, from taho to balut, these creations showcase not just the creativity but also the courage and the love of Filipinos for food. Courage, my dear, is what missing in other country. See, they included balut as "fear factor".

And one more thing: most of the Filipino foods is either coated in fat or glistening with oil. From main course to desserts, some are simply high in cholesterol and stuffs that make heart diseases as leading cause of death among the Filipinos. Unappetizing, really.

As bad as they are, oils, fats and cholesterol make Filipino dishes so tasty that Filipinos around the globe could not resist genuine Filipino home cooking (from my Nutrition class, fats and oils actually add the mouth-feel in foods). I would not trade Filipino cuisine for anything (Ok, a bit of a lie here. I also like Italian and Japanese, though).

Why am I doing this article? I better make some lanera of leche flan.

*Chef Rob Pengson's photos from his Friendster profile. Click on photos for image locations.

TOP 10 REASONS WHY THERE COULDN'T BE A FILIPINO-AMERICAN US PRESIDENT

2008-05-18T16:33:00.006+08:00

By David Letterman

10. The White House is not big enough for in-laws and extended relatives.

9. There are not enough parking spaces at the White House for 2 Honda Civics, 2 Toyota Land Cruisers, 3 Toyota Corollas, a Mercedes Benz, a BMW , and an MPV (My Pinoy Van).

8. Dignitaries generally are intimidated by eating with their fingers at State dinners.

7. There are too many dining rooms in the White House - where will they put the picture of the Last Supper?

6. The White House walls are not big enough to hold a pair of giant wooden spoon and fork

5. Secret Service staff won't respond to "psst... psst" or 'hoy....hoy...hoy...'

4. Secret Service staff will not be comfortable driving the presidential car with a Holy Rosary hanging on the rear view mirror, or the statue of the Santo Nino on the dashboard.

3. No budget allocation to purchase a Karaoke music-machine for every room in the White House.

2. State dinners do not allow "Take Home".

AND THE NUMBER 1 REASON WHY THERE COULDN'T BE A FILIPINO-AMERICAN U.S. PRESIDENT IS...

1. Air Force One does not allow overweight Balikbayan boxes!..J

I don't think David Letterman means bad about the Filipinos. Funny as it is, it is very true. Things written above reflect Filipinos being family-oriented, religion-centered, and with sense of humor people. The number of Filipinos in the United States is indeed getting large that Mr. Letterman took notice of their culture and the tradition.. We can deny what he said, but you can't shake it off. Because these are some things that make us genuine Filipinos.

Live it and be proud of it.

* Taken from some Multiply account.

BATAAN EXPERIENCE

2008-05-16T18:12:00.012+08:00

The day before the trip, I did not asked where in Bataan we would go. Of course, even if I have the answer i don't know any place in Bataan. I think I already mentioned I watched Iron Man (last full show) with some of my buddies the night before the trip. I slept at 1:30am then woke up 4:30am. I wished there's enough time to just close my eyes.

May 11, 2008. Mother's Day.

Getting there went smooth as possible; the air conditioner of the new Starex was freezing. As much as I want to stay awake to see the road we were taking, I could not help but to doze off.

In our ride, two UST Nursing alumni were present. Ate Fred and Ate Emery. And they are just simply amazing: both were scholars while being an active member in their respective organizations back in college. Then I made a new friend from the higher year. Her name is Carla. She talks nonstop and is very friendly. I find her really really nice. You will not get bored with her. Believe me. Ruvi, also from my batch, was there. I finally befriend her after two acquaintances. And of course, to complete the troop from UST, there's Kath, with a new hairstyle. We were in the van with a professor from University of Asia and Pacific.

It only took us less than three hours to reach our destination: Balanga, Bataan. Unlike Bongabon, this was not so much secluded. It's actually a part of a city. It's different from the medical mission in Nueva Ecija. We were provided with the likes of cotton balls and alcohol. But the hospitality and gratitude were the same. I especially enjoyed the meals we had. They got shrimp! My favorite allergens. Luckily Kath brought some chocolates (known anti-allergen, for me at least).

The day spent in Bataan was all worth it. I met handful of people and made new friends. Even visited a church there (a quick detour care of our Manong Driver).
We went home tired, as expected, but with a smile on our faces and a big pineapple in our hands.

Thanks Ate Emery for the pics! For more pictures, visit her Multiply site: http://emerylawrence.multiply.com

RAGING GIRLY HORMONES PART 2

2008-05-15T17:27:00.007+08:00

Just as you thought I would miss this time to write something about David Cook, well guess again. :P

Absolutely amazing was all I can say about David's performance last night. Orgasmic! Hahaha! Can't take off his performance of "Don't Want To Miss A thing". Medyo OA, pero I was almost tearful the time he sang. Ewan ko ba. Ganito ba ang feeling ng isang fan? I think it's my first time to be a fan of someone, first time since BLUE (especially Lee Ryan). Good thing the studio version's already available on imeem.com. God bless the Internet. I'll try to fix Limewire so I can download the song, and as expected, have it played over and over again. Sorry I have to succumb to Limewire; I obviously don't have any means to buy the original on iTunes.

Be sure to check out the Top 3 Ford commercial. Slightly funny. Hehe. Anyway I still like it, not because of David Cook but because of the new Ford Focus (love the red one!).

@Madel, I don't think it's an addiction. READ: it's an OBSESSION. Niyahahahahahahahaha!

GUSTO MO BANG MASUNTURON?

2008-05-15T15:48:00.007+08:00

Last Sunday was Mother's Day. I did not send any cards or e-cards to my mom. I was planning something: I'd give her a call. This is something I do not do so I know she will be surprise. But as I was thinking, maybe she will not be surprise after all; she will be in shock. She might take my call as an emergency and go panic. I know my mother.

However, I was determine to make the call.

Mother's Day date was the same as the date of the medical mission in Bataan. So I bought my phone load the day before the mission. I'm not sure if there are any load outlet nearby where we would hold the mission.

I made the call lunch time. Unfortunately, it was a Saturday in Chicago that time and I know my mother turns off both of her cellphones. She doesn't want any distraction over the weekends. Just my luck. I leave a message through voice mail, hoping my mother know how to retrieve message via voice mail (she has her Blackberry months ago and until now, she's still exploring it).

And since it was Mother's Day, I see to it I greet the mothers I was attending to in the mission. A simple greeting won't hurt.

After three hours and a half after the mission, I was home. Two hours later, I woke up, found myself watching TV again.

I catch the Mel & Joey show on GMA. Before the show ends, they mentioned a proverb: "A mother understands what the child does not say."

I opppose.

As far as I am concern, this is not necessarily true. Honestly, I find it hard to connect with my mother at times, especially whenever her mother's instinct is on the prowl. Mothers, or parents alike, tend to jump into hasty conclusions, conclusions that they themselves create whenever they do not seem to understand their own child. I think they feel some 'air of supremacy' that no matter what, they perfectly understand their child just because he/she is his/her child. A simple reasoning like that can lead into a bunch of rebellious kids that only demand a listening parent/s.

Tatay: Saan ka na naman galing?! At bakit ganyan ang hitsura mo?!? Gusto mo bang masunturon?? Sumagot ka! Malilintikan ka sa akin!
Anak: Eh kasi Itay...
Tatay: Aba! At sumasagot ka na!
Anak: O_o

I am always entertained by this parent-and-child monologue, er, i mean dialogue. I think it's typical in a Filipino family. I experienced this one a number of times, really. If you find it hilarious, there's a chance you have experienced it, in one way or another.

In my opinion what causes this miscommunication between a parent and a child is that parents tend to forget they were a son/daughter just as their son/daughter. They forget the same struggles they had when they are young. We can never blame them. Experience taught them well, so well that sometimes they are forced to forget the younger years in which they are more helpless and less useful.

Sometimes, they tend to over react to things that can be considered as a light matter by their children. Parents, by nature are possessive of their kids, always worrying and always think their kid/s might make a wrong decision. Wrong decision that they too have done. They are afraid in the saying "History repeats itself".

Parents, the good news is: Your child is not as stupid as you think they are.

We, kids, may make a lot of mistakes. But from these mistakes, we learn just as you did.

It is easy to give attention to a child. What is hard to give is a time to listen. What I mean by listening is mouth close, both ears open, mind open, and wait until the kid is finish talking. Then no comments based on "mother's instinct"; give a comment or suggestion like you would give to a friend. A child has the right to be treated with dignity.

Maybe because I am not a parent that's why I talk about this stuff in a very daughter point of view. That's because I am one. I am a daughter in every manner, uniquely rebellious in a way. Years from now (and I hope it would really be YEARS), I will be a mother with a child of my own. This blog will be a reminder for myself. Because no matter what, people tend to forget things.

I called her again late that night. She finally answered. I have so many things I wanted to tell her because it's Mother's Day. Instead, for that full five minutes, I let her do the talking. After all, it was Mother's Day.

MAYBE NEXT TIME

2008-05-15T15:07:00.006+08:00

The truth is.... I AM IRON MAN.

Hooray!!! I got to watch Iron Man in a cinema! It's the best movie to see after the Transformers. The humor of the movie was great! (especially with Rhodey's "maybe next time" line). Too bad action scenes are not that quite many as the Transformers. Anyway I'll just watch out for the sequel coming in 2010.

Actually, the original plan was to watch the World Pyrolympics at MOA. But heck, who would miss the chance of watching Iron Man even though Bart already watched it at watchdashmoviesdotnet? Fireworks could wait. Pyrolympics are available Saturdays of this month by the way.

I've realized that night that getting to MOA and going back home are a serious matter especially if you have companions with different point of views. Hahaha!

I arrived at Dos Castillas quarter to 1 in the morning then slept at 1:30. Woke up 4:30am for the medical mission in Bataan. I didn't get enough time to close my eyes at least. I'd like to tell more about the med mission but I think that would be on hold until I got the pictures. :)

IF IT'S THE REAL THING

2008-05-09T00:09:00.004+08:00

This one is my favorite from Bo Bice's. I really like this song, and of course, the singer as well. Tonight he showed up on AI and unexpectedly, I didn't like it. No, I like the way he performed, the song and all. It's just that his hair reminded me of some thing, er, someone. Long and rugged hair. Damn. Oo, yung gagong yun (why did it sound bitter? hahaha). It's HIM which I was reminded of Bo's hair. Anyway, I'll end the story here. Don't want to talk about it any more.

So Jason Castro is FINALLY out. Yipee! I don't hate him, but I don't like him. Such a cheesy singer. Besides Bo, Maroon 5 also did a number. Nothing else to say except: the usual very sexy Adam Levine. Tonight a caller asked David Cook out. WHAT!! My David??! As if! Good thing David gave a safe reply: "We'll see". Hahaha!

Earlier I came across an article featuring Clay Aiken. I couldn't help but to be shocked at his new promotional photo. Here it is:

Actually, nakakatakot sya dito. Hahaha. He's transformation since his AI days were really amusing. Seems to me he's REALLY trying hard to improve his looks. He got a very beautiful voice, but got no looks to accompany it. Especially when he was in his Spamalot get-up. =))

To make it up for Mr. Aiken (as if we're close), here's a pic of him at his best look. (This is from my opinion. I like him in this photo)
Pag trippan ba naman si Clay Aiken??

FEAR FOR THE SECOND CHANCE

2008-05-07T18:44:00.006+08:00

After 24 hours or so, I suddenly remembered what I what to remember. For a change I will be using a different medium. Sayang lang ang pagiging manunulat sa tanging lathalain ko noong hayskul.

Hindi ako taga-hanga nila John Lloyd at Bea. Pero pinapanood ko ang mga pelikula nila. Sa TV man o sa sinehan. Ang huli kong napanood ay ang "One More Chance". Maganda, pero sa totoo lang hindi naman masyadong nakaapekto sa akin. Bakit ako maaapektuhan ng mga ganong kwento eh walang dahilan para maapektuhan ako. Siguro yung kasama ko pa. Pero hindi talaga ako. Gwapo lang talaga si John Lloyd sa aking paningin.

Sa totoo lang, wala namang kinalaman sina John Lloyd at Bea sa iniisip ko. Naalala ko lang sila dahil konektado sa title ng "One More Chance" sa iniisip ko. Parang ganun kasi buhay ko, "One More Chance". Hindi ko ito hiningi; kusang ibinigay. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. At dahil dun minsan nasasaktan ako. Naisip ko lang:

"Kung binigyan ka ng pangalawang pagkakataon, hindi ka lang dapat matuwa at magpasalamat. Higit pa doon ang dapat mong maramdaman. Hindi ba dapat ka rin makadama ng takot? Matakot sa pangalawang pagkakataong ibinigay sa iyo dahil hindi mo alam kung bakit ka binigyan nito. Kung ano ang dahilan. Maswerte ka kung alam mo ang sagot. Paano kung hindi? At paano ung sa maling dahilan pala kaya ka binigyan ng pangalawang pagkakataon?"

Akala ko noon nasagot ko na ang bagay na 'to. Hindi pa pala. Gaya ng ang nasabi ko na, mas mahaba pa pala ang paglalakbay na ito kaysa sa inaasahan. Minsan naiisip ko parang mas maganda pa siguro na hindi na ko binigyan ng pangalawang pagkakataon. Mas maigi pa yata iyon para hindi ko na naramdaman ang sakit at ang saya. Para tahimik na lahat. Bakit pa kasi ako ang binigyan ng pagkakataon kung meron pa namang mas kailangan nito...

Marami pa akong tanong at hindi ako mauubusan ng tanong sa loob ng dalawang oras. Higit pa siguro kung mayroon talagang sumasagot sa mga tanong ko. Pero wala eh. Hintayin ko na lang ang panahon na magkikita na kami ni El Supremo para itanong ko lahat ng tanong ko.

*Gumawa nga pala ako ng pitchi pitchi ngayon. Unang beses ko. Ginawa ko un sa traditional way kaya ang sakit ng mga kamay at braso ko. Ok lang, nag-enjoy naman ako. Buti naman masarap ung naging resulta. Lasang pitchi pitchi.

ACCUMULATED WISHES

2008-05-06T13:11:00.006+08:00

There's so much stuff I would like to blurt out, then finally, sitting in front of the computer with the keyboard under my fingers, I could not think of anything. Blank paper syndrome, eh? Anyway, I'll just type whatever enters my idle mind.

IRON CHEF AMERICA
Every time I get to watch this show, it never fails to have me dumbstruck. One hour, five courses, one secret ingredient. But I think it's not so secret anymore to the battling chefs prior the show. Of course they have to think of something out of the "secret ingredient" before the actual cooking. Both the challenger and the iron chef has the unique quality that makes them a stand out. Different cuisines, different ideas. It's more like a battle of the geniuses rather than of chefs. The plating part is what really gets me excited. It's so brilliant! The only thing I hate about the show is one of the host who gets to try the dishes too. He's uber OA.
What if I join the iron chef America someday? Hahaha. As if it can happen. The iron chefs and the challengers have 20-30 years of experience at hand. Maybe I'll just settle being a sous chef.

ABSOLUTE BOYFRIEND
Also known as Zettai Kareshi. I just found this on cruchyroll.com. I think it's new and still on air in Japan. It's a series about a pathetic single woman looking for a boyfriend. By luck, she was chosen to have a product trial by some robot company. That product was the absolute boyfriend in robotic form. It's kind of hilarious, and super kilig because the robot boyfriend is ABSOLUTELY SEXY. Hahaha. It's another love triangle drama; the girl's boss have some feelings for her. Anyhow, I'll definitely watch this drama! How I wish I have a robotic ideal boyfriend. Even though it's robotic, at least it's ideal.

DAVID COOK
Brooke White's gone and it's only down to four: Jason, David A, Syesha, and of course, David Cook! Just the other day I was reading blogs talking about David Cook. Awesome! He got so many supporters outside US. Go David C! Be the American Idol and be my groom!!!

IRON MAN
It's all over the news and I can't wait to watch. Though I have the opportunity to watch this flick online and for free, I can't stand the poor quality of the flick online. It'll be ass-kicking if I am to watch this on the theater with some class (try Trinoma's cinema folks, movie experience is great). Wonder who could I call up to watch the flick with me. Hohumm...

PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE?
There goes my old-self again. It just pains me whenever I think about this thing. I just wish El Supremo laid his plans for me in black and white. Thought I solved this mystery long ago... This would be a longer journey than what I've thought. Good thing an opportunity knocked. Medical Mission this coming Sunday at Bataan. This mission is not from the school but everything is free, according to my friend. I haven't discuss this yet with my mom. I think I would just go, and make myself something useful.

I didn't catch the first rain of May this year (FYI:I bathe in the first rain of May every year). Maybe next year. Though it's still summer, heavy rains are present in the afternoon. Blame the global warming. Blame the human race.

RAGING GIRLY HORMONES

2008-04-28T16:06:00.005+08:00

The present season of American Idol has been addictive to me. Oh, maybe not. It's only because of David Cook that I get to watch the show. Sigh. I wish after the show, win or lose, he will come here just like Elliot Yamin. My wits getting dull because of him! Hahahaha! His smile makes me want to melt. *Drools...

What's there not to like about him? Superb with a bit raspy voice (typical rocker voice), matching good looks, a bit angular face, cool hair (thank God for the make-over!), a lefty playing guitar, and I like him even more now that he's sporting unshaven beard that's just enough to exudes manliness. Now that's HOT! Hahaha! He's just so sexy without putting much effort.

It seems David got what I want in a man, the scruffy face for one. And the sexy smile. Hehehe.

ATTRACTION VS. ADMIRATION

2008-04-26T15:29:00.004+08:00

I can't seem to forget the girl I saw last Thursday. She's the niece of one of the people present in the affair I have gone to, and she's probably a year or two older than me. She and her mom and grandma (I think) came in later than us. Probably an hour after. I was nearing to depart that time. I suddenly noticed her the moment she walked in the gates. Believe me, it's hard not to notice her. I mean she's all that and this. Cute nose, cute eyes, fair-skinned, colored hair, stunning figure. She's like a TV personality or even an angel that suddenly appeared in front of us. I was all smiles as I watched them taking pictures with her family.
Don't take me wrong, though. I AM NOT A LESBIAN OR TOMBOY OR WHATEVER (I still, and forever will, prefer those in the opposite sex).

I can't seem to forget her because I ADMIRE HER, not attracted to her. That's two different story. I admire her because she has all those physical qualities that I lack. As there is admiration, of course I would not deny that I feel a bit of envy to her. Anyway, why should I deny that she's more beautiful than me? Ooops. Ok I'm not saying I'm beautiful, though. Hahaha! I remember when a guy friend asked me sarcastically, "Bakit maganda ka ba??" Lucky for him we are kind of close or else... *devil laugh

If I were given the chance to have an acquaintance and talk to her, I would say directly to her that she is beautiful. Why not? There's nothing wrong in being generous to give compliments to people. Only insecure people deny that some people are waaay better than them. Luckily, I'm not one of those people. I can appreciate the beauty in a person, minus the backstabbing. Hahaha. I believe this is one surest way to be beautiful, even it is not on the outside. :)

BACK OFF!

2008-04-24T12:57:00.002+08:00

Just got home from some affair. Actually I've been to a house full of my mom's friends here and abroad. They're actually a whole family. They're nice, really. They complimented me for how I look like my mom or even better than my mom. Hahaha! Well it was flattering, but one thing that got me REALLY annoyed was the countless times they took a pic of me so that they can show either to their friends or their sons. Good grief! I felt like I am a *hore or much worse, a desperate! I'm only 18 and there's a LOT of time for those things after I graduate from college. Whatever, just to show my respect, I just smiled for the whole time they do the talking.

I really don't need that "nirereto". The early part of this year was already spent on emotional turmoil. I have to take a break from that. I like to think I'm giving my heart a vacation. Maybe it's better to be "frozen" for an indefinite time. Saka na yung mga ganyang bagay. Kahit hindi na sabihin ng nanay ko, ako na mismo aayaw. I don't like to feel anything unstable regarding heart matters for the mean time. Especially now my world is somewhat rotating and revolving in harmony.

BUT if whoever they like me to make an acquaintance with, he must be at least smart, neat, not long-haired, not bald, tall, and gwapo! HAHAHAHA! XD

P.S. I have just read that Carly Smithson has been eliminated from the "Idol". >sad<

LAKE HOUSE, DAVID COOK, AND THE GROWING PHILIPPINE POPULATION

2008-04-23T19:12:00.006+08:00

Gosh!

Lake house again on HBO. *kilig*
I honestly love that movie. Superb story line. I watched the two version of the movie, the Korean (Il Mare) and American (Lake House). I think the original one was the Korean version. But dang it! The American version is way much cooler than the Korean. Just check out its lead actor and actress: no other than KEANU REEVES and SANDRA BULLOCK! How I love those two! They looked good together, aren't they?
Gonna look out again for that super-kilig scene where they kissed for the first time in front of their partners. =D

David Cook was simply amazing in tonight's American Idol. He could even surpass David Archuleta's also amazing voice. He's cute, too. He's so hot with that unshaven face (I'm a die-hard for this kind of masculinity). Ooohhh... tsssss. Hehehe. I'm not sure who's going to win, after all they're both David. I find Carly Smithson good, too.
I consider this performance by Cook my favorite. Even Cowell thought this was amazing. =D

NEWSFLASH! The country's population's up by 2% since 2000. DUH. As if it's still surprising... Apparently, population of the Philippines is directly proportionate with the country's problem with food. Bakit kasi ang motto ng mga Pilipino "the more the many-er"? But it's not like you can blame the part of the population belonging to the lower part of the pyramid. I think all is involve here, whether you're filthy rich or just an average. I don't know but I find this line from the news article somewhat funny and at the same time humiliating (of course, I'm a Filipino too), "but experts said Asia's biggest Catholic nation was unlikely to change policies to slow the increase".
Just the other day I watched on CNN that parts of Europe are also experiencing shortage with food. It's a global food crisis. Sigh... What now? Now I feel guilty with my growing passion which is cooking when I think about the number of people who do not have anything to eat.

How about doing that "Idol Gives Back" bi-annually?

Source: http://malaysia.news.yahoo.com/rtrs/20080417/tbs-philippines-population-8bedc88.html

THE HUMAN SEMINARIAN

2008-04-23T01:28:00.008+08:00

I have this friend who is a seminarian. Actually I haven't meet him yet. Another friend just gave him my number and after that, we had each other on our Friendster accounts. I don't really like having unknown people as textmates, but since the other guy's my friend and he knows the seminarian, and the fact that he's a seminarian, and he can only use his phone during Sundays (no phones allowed inside), I felt the "pity" to text this person.

One time, I got spiritually low and this person helped me. Well, it's not a surprise. After all, he's a seminarian. Imagine studying Theology for the whole year. This guy, at any chance he can get, forwards inspirational quotes, which I find worthy to be kept in my inbox.

So earlier this evening, it was a surprise that he sent a PM through YM saying he's sad. Why he's sad? Guess what. A heart problem! I was like shocked and I find it funny because of the fact that he's a seminarian and all... Well, you know what I mean.

Surprisingly enough, he told me that he spent several nights crying, being depressed and all. I'm not going to tell the details but what I've said to him were pretty harsh for a down. I would have said something nice, not like "it's you your self giving you a hard time", and "crying is just an option; there are a lot of things worth crying for". At least I said sorry after those words.

What's more surprising while I was watching TV, after I forwarded a message that could hit the spot, he texted me if I could accompany him to drink. I agreed, thinking that it is impossible. I was grinning to myself then, "How on earth this guy who would be a priest someday say these things?" Actually, he was drinking with his friends at the moment. He said that if ever I would come to Manila, we'll have our drinking spree. I just replied a simple "hobah" (simplified 'oo ba'). I became nervous. What was I thinking?? I'm not a big fan of alcohol and to drink with this guy I barely know?? I have a lot of decency, you see. Yes, I do not mean my "hobah".

Then I it got into my nerves that no matter what he is, he's still a human. A human capable of loving, and being hurt. I should not be judging him or anything. Maybe I should give his offer a thinking.

I am thinking of him. I am also thinking how could that 'drinking spree' become impossible.

THE CHICKEN POTATO SALAD

2008-04-21T15:18:00.006+08:00

For the past week that I have been somewhat depressed, I guessed I really did make a LOT of thinking.

Since I left writing for nursing, I did not know what I really want to do. For sure, I want to be a doctor/surgeon, but that is out of envy I feel for my mom. I want to be a doctor because I want Mama to be proud like her relatives who have doctor or lawyer for a son or daughter. I also want to be a doctor for a personal fulfillment. That is what I want to be.

Now that I have made a thorough thinking, I realized what I want and enjoyed to do: COOKING. Recently, I have been a fanatic of cooking shows, recipes on the net, etc. I feel passionate about it. I love the idea of food that is well-prepared, using only the finest ingredients. I love the thought of cooking for the family. Right now, I'm making dreams including my love for cooking. :)

But cooking has a down side. The more food I create, the more exercise I must make. I don't want to be overweight anymore than what I weigh now. I like to keep myself healthy, too.

I really, really, really want to bake, but our oven has not been use for 8 years I think. Tito Rey is just to afraid that it may cause fire in our home. Oh well, it's alright. As a nurse, I learned to be creative. I just applied the principles of how an oven works, and now I already have my own mini-oven!

Since I can already make cookies with my mini-oven, I was thinking if I could start a business with these cookies so that I would not rot here inside the house. Haha. Target customers: classmates of my younger sister.

Last Sunday, I made my first potato salad. It was awesome! I could say so my self. They loved it especially my sibs. I just took a recipe from the net. Too bad the camera's broken. I was not able to take a picture of my salad.

Here's the recipe:

Chicken Potato Salad

· 1 kilo potatoes

· 1 big chicken breast

· 3 pieces medium sized carrots

· 300 ml mayonnaise

· 1 can (836 g) pineapple tidbits or chunks

· 1/2 cup sweet pickle relish

220 ml of cream

· 1 cup cheddar cheese, diced (optional)

· 3 tablespoons of chopped spring onions (optional)

· Iodized salt to taste (pepper, optional)

· In a big pot, boil potatoes and carrots (covered with water) for about 15 to 20 minutes or until cracks on the potato skin appears. (tip: pierce a potato with a toothpick. If you can pierce it with little resistance and the toothpick comes out clean, the potatoes & carrots are cooked).

· Drain potatoes and carrots, let cool.

· Once cooled, the skin can be easily be pealed by hand.

· Dice the potatoes and carrots (about 1×1 cm)

· Boil the chicken breast in water with some salt. Let cool, then shred the chicken meat in 1 inch lengths

· Drain pineapple chunks or tidbits.

· Combine all ingredients (potatoes, chicken meat, pineapple, carrots, pickle relish, mayonnaise…) in a big bowl and salt to taste. You may add pepper if you wish.

· Refrigerate before serving.

· You may add the optional ingredients (diced cheese, chopped onions, spring onions) or a handful of raisins for added flavor.

I also made a batch of cookies this morning. This is my own recipe.

Banana and oatmeal cookies

1 1/2 cup of flour
3/4 cup of mashed banana
1/4 cup of corn starch
1 tsp vanilla extract
dash of cinnamon
1 cup oats
1/2 cup confectioner's sugar
1/2 cup butter
1/2 tsp salt

First, cream the butter then add sugar. (I was not able to find confectioner's sugar in the supermarket so what I did was I put white granulated sugar in a blender. The result was the same as of confectioner's sugar).
Add flour, cornstarch, vanilla, banana, cinnamon, oats and salt. Mix them well, but not too much. Then shape the dough in any size you want.
Bake them in a 390 degree oven for about 8-10 minutes. Make sure sides are not burnt.

I enjoyed this cookies with milk. I hope you'll enjoy yours also.

SUMMER HOUSE ARREST

2008-04-18T18:12:00.004+08:00

I broke the digital camera.
It happened exactly one week ago, high school classmates get-together.

So now, this is my summer: STAY HERE AT HOME UNTIL CLASSES RESUME.

Fortunately I can still go out of the house every Sunday for the Holy Mass, and on rare days that I need to go out to buy something. I hope the dogs would stick with me while I'm here. I wish for the same with the cats, if that's possible. (They all seem to hate me). The only problem here at home is that I have no one to talk to. Luckily I can write and luckily, no one reads this page.

Sigh...
I never saw this happening. I'm more broke than the digital camera that was the root of all these craps. It may be safe for me to say, "Bye-bye Ilocos trip!" and to all other things I was planning to do.
It may sound absurd to some that because of a camera summer will be, well, just summer for me. I also thought of that. But knowing my mom, it's a little "natural". That's why it took me several days before I told her that because of me, the camera broke. I can see it clearly. This would happen if I told her the truth. Honestly, it annoys me knowing she's angry because of the broken camera.

Why does every time I join my high school classmates for a little get-together, things like this happened. Last year, she got angry (really really ANGRY) with me because I "didn't told her that the it would be overnight". It goes for a month and that month was spent for crying. Every time I talked to her on the phone, results are either me hyperventilating or me crying to sleep. The problem every time this thing happens, she tends to bring up my past mistakes. Mistakes that she told me she had already forgiven. Crazy, ayt? But this thing usually happens every time she gets mad at me. You know what? I'M ALREADY GETTING USED TO IT.

Now, every time I log-in in my YM, I'm already expecting bunch of offline messages from her. And to tell you, this messages are not good to read. They hurt so much that even if I tell myself that the messages are written by my overly-stressed mom and that somehow I should understand her, I still shed a tear or two. I don't want to cry for this. There's a lot more things that need someone to cry for them. But then, teardrops still coming down and I can't stop them as I am typing these words.

MIND FEEDER

2008-04-14T15:26:00.001+08:00

http://aphonica.com/James/Commonplace_book.htm

THOSE WHOM THE GODS LOVE GROW YOUNG

2008-04-13T23:35:00.004+08:00

I find it nice and worthy to be posted here in my blog :)

A Few Maxims For The Instruction Of The Over-Educated

by

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

Education is an admirable thing. But it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.

Public opinion exists only where there are no ideas.

The English are always degrading truths into facts. When a truth becomes a fact it loses all its intellectual value.

It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information.

The only link between Literature and Drama left to us in England at the present moment is the bill of the play.

In old days books were written by men of letters and read by the public. Nowadays books are written by the public and read by nobody.

Most women are so artificial that they have no sense of Art. Most men are so natural that they have no sense of Beauty.

Friendship is far more tragic than love. It lasts longer.

What is abnormal in Life stands in normal relations to Art. It is the only thing in Life that stands in normal relations to Art.

A subject that is beautiful in itself gives no suggestion to the artist. It lacks imperfection.

The only thing that the artist cannot see is the obvious. The only thing that the public can see is the obvious. The result is the Criticism of the Journalist.

Art is the only serious thing in the world. And the artist is the only person who is never serious.

To be really mediæval one should have no body. To be really modern one should have no soul. To be really Greek one should have no clothes.

Dandyism is the assertion of the absolute modernity of Beauty.

The only thing that can console one for being poor is extravagance. The only thing that can console one for being rich is economy.

One should never listen. To listen is a sign of indifference to one's hearers.

Even the disciple has his uses. He stands behind one's throne, and at the moment of one's triumph whispers in one's ear that, after all, one is immortal.

The criminal classes are so close to us that even the policemen can see them. They are so far away from us that only the poet can understand them.

Those whom the gods love grow young.

YOU CAN ONLY PURSUE IT

2008-04-12T23:42:00.005+08:00

And so I still got this hang over from yesterday's high school classmates mini-reunion.

It was nice... really. I was a bit excited and looked forward in seeing these guys again. Same meeting place. The usual resort with the usual free cottages! Of course, same "sapphire" time. I almost forgot, the same chit-chattering manner is still present.

Being with my high school classmates again brought back memories of carefree but distressing days. Haha. Anyway, it was fun to be with them again. Non-stop stories, corny jokes and just good times. They are the same people I probably grew up with. However, I admit we are not the same as before.

All of us has changed, whether we like it or not. We are no longer the kiddos almost three years ago. I would like to think we really do not know one another anymore; we are just held back and brought together by the memories we had shared. But that would be absurd. For me, no matter how much we changed, the person we were with almost three years ago is still there.

Yeah.. this one was very different from the past outings we had. Let's just say the outing was "adulterated". =D

I was just a bit disappointed because my cam broke down. It nearly destroyed my mood yesterday. Fortunately, I got my senses on hold. I just need to have it repaired.

I luckily catch "Pursuit of Happyness" by Will Smith on Wowow. It's hell-yeah-good-movie. Well, what more to expect from Mr. Smith? Anyway, I like to share a line from the flick:

"Happiness... You can never have it; you can only pursue it."

Good night.

SUMMER BUM

2008-04-08T01:13:00.003+08:00

This would be my last summer vacation as a student.

Knowing this fact, I'm still a bum stuck inside the house. Of course, I enjoyed watching TV, net surfing, watching TV, net surfing, occassional trips outside the house, bathing the dog, do some exercise (I don't want to get fatter this vacation!) watching TV and net surfing. However, I want to enjoy this vacation in other means. During school days, I was thinking of so many things that I want to be done this summer. Maybe my mistake was not able to write them down.

So here is my to-do list this summer. Anyway I still have more or less two months. I tried to have them realistic.

1.) Learn to ride a bike - OK, my first plan was to learn how to drive. But since there's no cars around for me to practice, better be a bicycle although we still don't have any. Good there are bike rentals at the lake. Tin now knows how to ride a bike and my brother can be considered superb in riding bicycles, so I really think I need to learn to ride one before I become a real adult.

2.) Go to Ilocos - This has been my long overdue plan. Hopefully, this would finally pursue. Going to EJ's place would be the highlight of this summer. Get ready Pagudpod! Better have my fingers crossed.

3.) Tour Manila Ocean Park - The main problem for this one would be the money. No school days means no allowance. Crap. Wish I am filthy rich. But maybe I could persuade my mom into this if I go along with my sibs.

I think I would stop here for the mean time. Let's see what I could accomplished.

HAPPILY NEVER AFTER

2008-04-08T00:38:00.004+08:00

Just recently, I have been watching all sorts of movies, from Asian to French, from gore to comedy. What a nice way to spend my last summer vacation! Anyway, I have been enjoying this habit.

I just finish watching 27 Dresses by Dr. Izzie of Grey's Anatomy. The movie's tagline is somewhat ancient, "Always a bridesmaid, never a bride". But after watching the movie, I found myself looking up to sites with connection to weddings. Dresses, shoes, cakes, invitations, etc. Ha! What a laugh. Suddenly I fantasized what my wedding would be like? How would I want my wedding? But the real question is, what would my groom be like, if ever I would have one?

Last night I watched Penelope, whose leading actress was the girl in Casper. It's a modern day fairytale, which of course, ended in "happily ever after". Geez. It may sound crazy but I had the kissing scene of the leading couple replayed many times. Maybe I liked the way the lead actor looked. But the real reason was: I was thinking when and whom shall I give my first kiss.

I can't tell how many times I wished that I have someone beside me, holding my hand, and giving me hugs whenever I want. For sure, I've never been in a real relationship before. Yeah, there were countless crushes, flings and 'admirers' but never suitors. Humility aside, I could get a boyfriend anytime I want to but I can't. Why? I am afraid to hurt the person whom I respect and love most: my mom.

Sounds pathetic but I really don't like the idea of hurting my mom because of some boy issue. She has made so many sacrifices until now, and I think making my decision to stay single is one way that I could repay the sacrifices she had done.

That first kiss? It's simply a wishful thinking brought by me watching these romantic movies. Besides, guys are jerks no matter how nice they may appear, even if they are seminarians. Why should I want a jerk to be beside me? Right now, I need a dog more than I need a guy.

Mom said that I could get a guy at the age of 35. I'm an obedient kid but, hey, NO WAY! Once I settle things for me and the right guy came along, then I'll go get one. I don't want to be in a situation or in a time that I need to have a guy. I'll get a guy during time of "I want a guy". Hope you understand what I mean.

this is me

2007-12-31T21:16:00.000+08:00

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:
Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

UST hymn - ROCK!

2007-12-08T20:57:00.001+08:00

never thought the university's hymn could be like this..;))

capping ceremonies - 11/13/07

2007-11-18T09:50:00.000+08:00

...didn't know Dean Vargas and I are close...hahahaha...as if...

Falling In love with Spanish

2007-11-17T23:30:00.000+08:00

Recently, there have been changes in the minimal interior design of LRT. Berso sa Metro - That's what it is called. Actually it is an ad for some learn-Spanish institution. I fall in love with the verses - not in its pure form but in its translation in Filipino. Of course, obviously I can't understand Spanish. Actually, these are from romantic poems. You'll never know how they remind myself that I, too, is a mushy person.

Because of these Spanish verses, I'm kind of inspired to take some Spanish lessons. I've already told my mom and she kind of agree with it. Just let her know the cost. Maybe I'll get my fee from my account.

This one was the one I have memorized today, on my way to the bus station:

Kung sakaling malupit sa iyo ang kapalaran,
ako ay iyong alalahanin
Sapagkat hindi mapapagod maghintay,
itong walang sawang tumitingin sa iyo.

Anyway, like what a blogger had said, maybe it would be nice if I can see some of the works of our own poets.

2007-11-02T19:42:00.000+08:00

Aaarghhh....

Second semester will officially start on Monday, November 5, 2007.

Good bye vacation days...
I will miss you so much.
Please remember you will always be in my mind and heart.
I will wait for the day that we will be reunited again.

*ang drama masyado.LOL.:p

The Classic

2007-11-01T11:55:00.000+08:00

Isa to sa mga movie na hiniram ko kay Jane. Right after My Little Bride, pinanood ko na. Actually, pinanood na namin 'to when we were in 4th year highschool. Ayaw ko pa nga panoorin 'to dahil alam kong drama love story. Eh dahil ako ay ako, ayoko ng mga drama. Lalo na nung highschool ako. Ewan ko ba kung bakit. Basta.

Pero pagkatapos ng movie, isa ako sa mga napaiyak. Grabe kasi ung plot ng story. Ang hirap i-predict. Kakaiba ang twist. Then it'll leave you heartbroken pero at the same time, lovestruck. Parang alam ko na ang feeling ng "in love with love". Dalawang magkasunod na love story ba naman panoorin mo sino kaya hindi ma-touch kahit konti di ba?

Naalala ko tuloy isang quote na nabasa ko 1st year high school pa ko:

"Everyt time I get to watch love stories, listen to sweet love songs, or see other people kiss and make-up, I feel good myself. Because I can see love still works, if not for me, for others."

rating: 5 out of 5

My Little Bride

2007-11-01T11:28:00.000+08:00

Dahil sa wala na akong magawa, nanghiram na ko ng DVDs kay Jane. Oo. Puro Korean movies ang mga hiniram ko. (Wala din naman choice dahil Korean movies lang meron si Jane. Un ang alam ko.) At eto na nga. Kasama sa mga hiniram ko eh tong "My Little Bride". Grabe, laughtrip. Pramis. Nakakatuwa ung story. Nahihiya man akong aminin pero kinilig ako dito. Hahaha. Dati ko pa napapanood ung leading guy sa "Attic Cat". In short, crush ko nga sya. Hehehe. Habang Pinapanood ko tong movie na to, parang gusto ko tuloy ganito love story ko. LOL. Joke lang un 'no.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars (wala lang ang dahilan.)

Nakakatuwa...tinatamaan ako

2007-10-29T23:59:00.000+08:00

Do You Follow Your Heart or Your Head?

My Result: Heart-Strong Idealist

You're an impassioned individual who just can't suppress your ideals. You've got a strong sense of right and wrong, and want to let people know when they've crossed the line. Sure, there are times when you sit back to hear both sides of an argument. But people had better stay out of the way when your fiery passions take hold.

But just because you can be a bit of a rebel with a cause, it doesn't mean you're incapable of being understanding and compassionate. It's because you're so invested in your ideas and interests that you can work so tirelessly toward your goals and speak up for what you believe in. So keep pouring your heart into it. With conviction like yours, you're sure to succeed!

Take this test >

Ako ay isang Bernese Mountain Dog

2007-10-29T23:50:00.000+08:00

What Breed of Dog Are You?

My Result: Bernese Mountain Dog

No bones about it, you're a good-hearted, people-loving Bernese Mountain Dog. Down-to-earth and loyal, no one works or plays harder than you do. You put your nose to the grindstone when it really counts, but you never neglect your social calendar. Simultaneously strong and sweet, you're very tuned-in to the feelings and needs of the other dogs you run with. Without having to be asked, you always have a helping paw to lend and a sympathetic shoulder to lean on. "Communication" is your middle name, and when that's paired with your unswerving devotion, you get a breed that everyone respects and trusts. Woof!

Take this test >

ayoko na pala mag-nurse. hehehe

2007-10-29T23:46:00.001+08:00

What's Your Dream Job?

My Result: Ambassador

Sales representative? No way. Chemical engineer? Not you. With a big heart and a natural knack for smooth-talking, there's no doubt that you could go head-to-head with Angelina Jolie for best humanitarian. Whether you're smoothing over a fight between feuding friends or solving the stickiest of situations, you somehow manage to keep even-keeled under the heaviest of pressures. That's why the perfect job for you would be making sure that people all over the world are happy, healthy, and safe.

And while there may be a lot of competition on the international stage, this world could still use all the caretakers it can get. So make sure to take your heart wherever you go! Believe it — no matter where you work, your coworkers will be glad you're there.

Take this test >

result of some tests...oooh...

2007-10-29T23:42:00.000+08:00

What Kind of Coffee Drink Are You?

My Result: Smooth

Easy does it. That's how you get through life. Not one to get caught up in silly dramas or frivolous gossip, you've got the grace and elegance to know what really matters. That's why your signature coffee drink is as smooth and refined as you are.

Calm, cool, and oh-so-collected, friends know they can come to you when they need a sympathetic ear and solid advice. You're a natural when it comes to making friends — and keeping them — since you're so trustworthy and real. With your confidence and composure, you can't help but be one smooth operator no matter what curveballs life throws you. And that's exactly what's going to take you to the top. Stay cool!

Take this test >

NURsophomores VS MicroPara

2007-10-29T22:44:00.000+08:00

Got this from NURsophomores friendster account.
I find it really hilarious.XD

anyone for someone

2007-10-28T21:29:00.000+08:00

The 1st sem this school year went pretty fast. Though it did not went on by without the hardships, disappointments and many sleepless nights, this semester marked my life like a pockmark of smallpox - that is, permanent.

Subjects were pretty harsh, especially Microbiology and Parasitology. The heck with the worms!! Hahaha. Hard as the subjects were, I enjoyed them all (I can't say the same for Computer. Hehehe). Even though I got only 2.25 in Nursing-101, I enjoyed it, especially Community Health Nursing (though I know for a fact that it was the reason I got 2.25 for N-101). I still think Maam Famorca rocks!

Sad to say, I am no longer in the Dean's List. So what? Who cares? Even my mom doesn't care about it, and so do I. Enough said. End of discussion.

Hospital duties started this sem. I like to think a new "me-perspective" also started this sem. These duties made me think differently than I used before. I can say that I am more mature now. The more people I face, the deeper I see life. I think this is what makes Nursing unique. Nurses do not just treat the etiology of a disease, rather they take the sick person as a whole, along with his/her soul.

Like what I have said, I do have new set of classmates this sem and I'm stuck on them until college graduation, unless I change my surname. Anyway, I kind of enjoying them (all but one) already as days passed, as I began to know them. And now, I have new set of friends who, for reasons I do not fully understand, already becomes a part of me.

It remains a puzzle to me how in the world can people meet and become close as any one can in just a matter of more or less five months?

Every time I ask one particular friend of mine, which I become the closest, why and how we become friends, and in that case, close friends, neither of us could give an answer. It's like a mushroom that appeared out of nowhere. However, I just wish that unlike the mushroom, our friendship would last, if not forever, at least for this lifetime.

To end this, I would like to quote a message sent to me via SMS:
"It doesn't matter how many people are walking with you along the way of life. What matter is the people who are still with you at the end of the way".

RLE 9.2

2007-08-09T10:54:00.001+08:00

It seems like we've been together for how many years when it's only 2 months since we've known each other. I can't say I can't think of any groups that I could belong to. But as far as it goes, I love being with them. There's no dull moment. Only fun while learning from each other's mistakes, fun while listening to instructions, fun while handling a patient, fun while gaining new experiences. We practically don't have anything in common but what we have and what we are complements each other. Right now, I could say that I love these guys. I'm excited to know what will happen to us for the next 2 3/4 years.

make or break point

2007-06-29T21:14:00.001+08:00

Last year, I was a striving freshman, hoping to make it to the college' cut-off for admissions for 2nd year. And now that I already made it with flying colors, I am thriving. Just like how a bacteria thrive in an extreme environment.
It's been two long/short weeks since the classes started. Somehow, everything surrounds me seems to be so new.

another year, another challenges, same old me

2007-06-02T18:16:00.000+08:00

Honestly, I'm freaking nervous to this new school year. i got three or four majors I think. add to that a whole new environment, with new set of classmates. If only I still got my classmates from freshman year, perhaps it should not be as scary. New adjustments are to be made, camaraderie to establish, new people to deal with, and of course, new acad rivals. (just kidding)

Subjects are pretty tough. Well, this is sophomore year baby! Many said i just need to get through 2nd year and the rest will be a piece of cake. I hope so...

Enrollment day: I never thought I would see him again. The moment I laid my eyes on him, I felt a strange rhythm inside me. Though he's not exactly the same two months ago, this feeling just intensified itself. Two days after enrollment, it's only he who I can think of. Am I really falling for him this time? I barely know him aside from his first name. Please God, don't let me fall too hard.

beastly beauties

2007-06-02T18:07:00.000+08:00

I thought Miss Universe is all about prestige, beauty and brains. But after watching this year's pageant, it's more than the crown. Add to that it's hilarious too.

I don't remember the contestant but I remember well her national costume. I think it's Ms. Trinidad and Tobago or Ms. Puerto Rico. Her costume amazed me well with its superb head dress - coral reef with two dolphins suspended in air.
Filipinos are really fond of fellow Filipinos. Whether if it is half or one-fourth, as long as you have a Filipino decency, you're in or better yet a celebrity. Cheer on for Ms. Germany, Ms. Norway and even to the host,
All hail to the Ms. USA! Kaya mo ba yung ginawa nyang stunt?
I don't know why the need of a protest to the pageant. I don't see how the said pageant degrades women when it recognizes the real beauty with brains. The catch: protesters outside the venue might as well protesting because they were not in the contest. Notice they wore crowns themselves.
An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. This is maybe the motto of Mexicans for being rude to Ms. USA. Well, just as USA being rude to illegal immigrants, which are mostly Mexicans.
Ms. Sweden was pulled-out because her country said the pageant degrades women. Why didn't they do it before the coronation night? Note: Sweden got three Ms.Universe title.
How come Ms.Philippines did not make it in top15 when she awarded with Ms.Photogenic? Does the award don't mean anything at all? maybe I'm just bias here.
Miss Mexico was made to change her outfit for the regional dress contest after her original dress, decorated with brutal images of rebels in a 1920s religious uprising being hanged or shot, drew accusations of poor taste.
Highlight if this year's pageant: Ms. Tanzania's shaved head and Ms. Jamaica's dreadlocks. It only proves that beauty can come in all length, color and texture of the hair.
Party for Ms. Japan! Asian beauty at its best!

reference:http://tv.yahoo.com/miss-universe-2007/show/41744/news/urn:newsml:tv.reuters.com:20070529:mexico_missuniverse_dc__ER:14501

still lovin' it

2007-05-29T01:29:00.000+08:00

It's almost 5 years ago since "Out of my league" by Stephen Speaks hit it on the music scene. Five year's along time but I still love the song. It never fails to catch my attention and start daydreaming. *hahaha

Just today I learned how to play it with the guitar. (Take note: with matching plucking...my own version though). After a long time I finally knew how to play it. Yeah!

By the way, I also studied Michelle Branch's One of these days and Edwin Mccain's I'll Be. It's kinda late, but they are still good to be played.

Out Of My League Chords by Stephen Speaks

INTRO: F - G - C - F - G - Am
         F - G - C -; (2x)

Verse I

    F            G            C
It's her hair and her eyes today

          F       G      Am
That just simply take me away

        Dm          Em           F         G
And the feeling that I'm falling further in love

       F        G            Am
Makes me shiver but in a good way

      F            G        C
All the times I have sat and stared

     F             G                 Am
As she thoughtfully thumbs through her hair

      Dm          Em              F
And she purses her lips, bats her eyes

      F           F               G
And she plays with me sittin there slacked jaw

Am
And nothing to say


CHORUS I:

     C                   F
Coz I love her with all that I am

      C                         F
And my voice shakes along with my hands

 Am
Yes she's all that I see and she's all that I need

                            F - G - C
And I'm out of my league once again

Verse II:

     F       G     C
It's a masterful melody

       F         G          Am
When she calls out my name to me

       Dm            Em
As the world spins around her

   F                G
She laughs, close her eyes

      Dm              Em          F         G
And I feel like I'm fallin but it's no surprise


CHORUS II:

       C                F
Coz I love her with all that I am

      C                           F
And my voice shakes along with my hands

             Am            
Coz it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea

                             F - G
But I'd rather be here than on land

     C
Yes she's all that I see and she's all that I need

                            F - G
And I'm out of my league once again


INTERLUDE: F - G - C - F - G - Am
                 F - G - C -; (2x)

sane enough to expect

2007-05-19T20:57:00.000+08:00

“Insanity is when you do the same old actions, while expecting new results.”

- Bo Sanchez

This quotation was from Katch, via SMS. This one got me into thinking. It’s been a week now since I started doing Pilates and some aerobics, which I learned from my 1^st sem PE class. Reason: I want to shed off the weight I gained from the college freshmen year and be toned up before I reach 18. The whole weight gain sucks, and I want to do something about it since the beginning of summer vacation. But heck, I wasn’t doing anything to achieve my goal. Fortunately, mom sent us Pilates DVD that I could use. It was hard at the beginning, especially when you’re used to doing nothing but watching TV and surfing the net. After a week later, I find it super enjoying and rewarding at the same time. I become more active and energetic. I get to do things I am planning to do. Plus, exercising can be a good past time. But of course I’m also watching what I am eating at the same time. Maybe I’ll try to find time and money when the school starts to continue this new habit at a gym. Well, going to the gym is just another option. Maybe I’ll try to jog along Baywalk or at school grounds or Rizal Park…the list is endless.

The quotation gave me hope. Now that I am doing different activities, should I expect new results? ;D

mushroom soup for the soul

2007-05-19T20:50:00.000+08:00

Here are some of short inspirational stories that were sent via SMS.

"One night, a man was drunk and shot his wife,
then shot himself. This was all witnessed by their
only daughter. The government sent
the child to a religious orphanage to
help relieve the child of shock. The nun there
taught the child, and one day showed her a picture
of Jesus for the first time.
The nun was surprised to hear the child say,
"I know that man."
So she asked, "Who is he?"
The child answered, "He was the man holding me tight
the night my parents died."

(Sent by Rialph)

Touching, isn’t?

“One day, frogs arranged a wall climbing competition.
The wall was so high that spectators were shouting
that it’s impossible for a frog to reach the top.
One by one frogs began to fall due to exhaustion
and one by one they gave up except for one tiny frog.
This frog was very exhausted but kept climbing.
Spectators told him to give up but he didn’t.
The frog eventually reached the top.
They wanted to know how he did it and found out that
he was deaf.”

(Sent by Jennifer)

Lesson: Do not listen to dream stealers. Go for it!

Here’s a local one:

“Minsan nagtalotalo ang mga saging kung sino ang pinakamasarap.
Sabi ni latundan, small but sweet daw siya.
Sabi naman ni lacatan, big but sweeter siya.
Nalungkot si saba kasi hindi siya sweet, kailangan pa iluto atbp.
Kaya nag-walk out siya. Nakasalubong niya si brown sugar.
Ikwinento ni saba ang nangyari. Tumawa si brown sugar.
Sabi niya,
“It doesn’t matter how good you are.
What matter is how you make other special because of you.
You made me special.”

(Sent by Nicole)

Last but not the least, this is the most touching for me:

“ A swimmer went to practice.
The lights were all off. Only the moonlight was bright.
He climbed up to the highest diving board, turned his back to the pool and extended his arms out.
He noticed that his shadow formed a cross shape.
Instead of diving, he knelt down and cried out to GOD to come into his life. Suddenly,
someone walks in and turned the lights on.
He cried even more when he saw that the
pool had been drained for repairs.”

(Sent by Mariel)

I would like to thank those people who continue to forward inspiring quotes and short stories. The messages you keep on forwarding really complete my day, making it fuller and with meaning.

missing...

2007-05-17T01:10:00.000+08:00

My freshmen year in college was tough, with all those adjustments, pressure from parents and academics, and of course, I have to make new relationships to people who have more or less established personalities. That is so unlike freshmen year in high school.

By the end of the school year, I am so glad I met these people of BSN I-11, SY 2006-2007. I have learn so much from them, rrom pranks to words in their own dialect, from facts to jokes. Even though having a "barkada"(peer group) is not a thing for me, I had great times with them. Though we were only together for a year, it seems like I have known them for long.

Unfortunately, we won't be seeing each other next school year, except for those whose surname starts with the same letter as mine. Adjustments have to be repeated. I'll be needing new courage to make new friends again. I may have new friends and classmates but I-11 will always be "unique" as ever.

I'll miss you guys.

still friends

2007-05-15T03:05:00.001+08:00

It's been a year since my life made a turning point. I realized that while I was enjoying the shower brought about by the early rains of May. And somehow, I also realized that I am missing one very special person in my life. Yes, maybe I wouldn't be able to get through to these all without his help, guidance, and of course, friendship.

How I want to see him again. Though communication through text messaging never faded, seeing him again in person would make much difference, wouldn't? There's one thing stopping me...I don't know what it is exactly...maybe because of that stupid feeling I encountered...

I couldn't help it. At least send him a text message, I told myself. So I did.

I couldn't find the words that may fit what I want to say but still can hide my feeling at the moment. But then I thought, what's the need of hiding my feeling when that is all I want to tell him?

I want to tell him that I miss him terribly. I want to thank him for holding on to me. I want to tell him that I want him to be the 'ninong' of my first born. I want to tell him how I want for our friendship to be forever if that is possible. I want to tell him that I love him, as a friend, of course.

Finally, after series of erasures, I pressed the 'send' button. No more turning back. So what if he doesn't reply? At least I have said want I want and I can get my comfy sleep.

Fortunately he replied and that made me happy. I was happy because I know I still have my friend even though we're not seeing each other anymore. I was happy because no matter how many turning points my life will made, I know I still have him whom I can count on.

an excerpt from "Music & Lyrics"

2007-05-15T03:04:00.001+08:00

http://www.youtube.c om/watch?v=-aUUKI9HH t4

2007-05-15T03:03:00.001+08:00

WAY BACK INTO LOVE

-OST MUSIC & LYRICS

--> i've just watched the movie by hugh grant and drew barrymore. it's totally awesome! i recommend you to see it too.

i've been living with a shadow overhead

i've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed

i've been lonely for so long

trapped in the past

i just can't seem to move on

i've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away

just in case i ever need themagain someday

i've been setting aside time

to clear a little space in the corner of my mind

all i want to do is find a way back into love

i can't make it through without a way back into love

oh oh oh

i've been watching but the stars refuse to shine

i've been searching but i just don't see the signs

i know that it's out there

there's got to something for my soul somewhere

i've been looking for someone to shed some light

not somebody just to get me through the night

i could use some directions

and i'm open to your suggestions

all i want to do is find a way back into love

i can't make it through without a way back into love

and if i open my heart again

i guess i'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

oh oh oh

there are moments i don't know if it's real
or if anybody feels the way i feel
i need inspiration

not just another negotiation

all i want to do is find a way back into love

i can't make it through without a way back into love

and if i open my heart to you

i guess i'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

if only...

2007-05-15T03:02:00.001+08:00

if only i could spend some moments to know him more, have fun with him, and create music together. if only i know what he really feels. if only i know what I really feel. guessing is never a good game. especially you're alone.

if only i am not so clueless.

2007-05-15T03:00:00.000+08:00

just moments ago, out of boredom or maybe curiosity, i tried the survey posted by my high school classmate on friendster. i admit, it was one of the silliest, but rather amazing survey i've had. directions said that i must write down my answers. from number 1-11, i wrote down my answers while watching TV.

results go like these:

> there are 6 persons who like me

>my lucky number is 2

>i'm in love with the eng guy...lawrence (gosh!)

>i care for EJ (of course, she's my best friend)

>the person who really knows me is my mom

>my lucky star is tintin

>the guy name i wrote in space 7 is the one i like but what between us can't work out

>best in me by blue is the song for lawrence

>love song for know one by john mayers is the song that tells the story between the guy in space 7

>when i talk to you by mandy moore is the song that tells what is in my mind

>ain't got you by alicia keys tells i think what i believe or feel or prioritizes

many of them are true, as in i was head-shot! results are silly but when i tried to think of them, hey, they are bit true. hahaha! what a laugh!

who's the stupid person did that questionnaire?

ooh lala!

2007-05-15T02:55:00.000+08:00

if there's one thing i love about pirates of the carribean, LOTR trilogy, kingdom of heaven and troy, it is: ORLANDO BLOOM.

don't mind asking why. you know why.

a little late but...

2007-05-15T02:54:00.000+08:00

this may be a little late (a week ago), but the feeling of absurdity(?) is still with me.

we celebrated mama's birthday, of course, without the celebrant herself. we bought cake (black forest from goldilock's) and ice cream (ube and rockyroad). we seemed to enjoy ourselves, thinking mama as we devoured on cake and ice cream. how i wish we could do that with her again.

i really miss her.

and then some part-time

2007-05-15T02:53:00.000+08:00

WOW.

it really seems so amazing.

right now i'm beginning to start my part-time business/work: invitation designing and lay-outing. well, no payment for me right now, as i decided i should take this first jobs as an opportunity to be exposed. i figured that if i want to charge fees, i must first prove that i have the right to charge fees! this is my first step to be a millionnaire! (hahahaha!...what am i thinking??!)

talking about business, i think i should get a quality printer now. i need the printer for this part-time business as well as for my school paper works, especially on written reports. maybe i should advertise myself online (haha). but right now, i only rely on referrals. (crap...i should be working up on these things).

anyway...if you happen to read this blog...send me a message if you're in for a business deal with me..

over-achievers' dilemma

2007-05-15T02:52:00.001+08:00

while other kids were already dancing for joy, taking a pic of their name on the list (?), shrieking because of excitement, i was like numb. playing numb perhaps. finding my name on the list of qualified 2nd years didn't ring a bell for me. even if i wanted to. others already texting their parents, friends, or gf/bf to share the good news, i was like standing there, thinking of the next step i could do.

i was happy that i passed, of course, but the thing is, i don't share the same excitement that other kids have. gosh, how i envy them.

i think this is a problem with over-achievers. they always meet the expectations they have on them, even though these expectations are pretty tough to meet. this kind of people do suffer to achieve what they are expected to achieved. the sad part is, this is oftentimes taken for granted, or not recognized, even by their own family.

i'm sad because i don't know of anyone i could share my joy and supposedly excitement. my family knows i could easily passed freshman year, my classmates would think i'm just over reacting or worst, mayabang if i reacted that i was so surprise. i just stayed cool...getting my self numb from the happiness i really feel.

this may seem a little bit nothing.

words of wisdom: being an over-achiever sometimes means nothing at all.

oh well.

better say nothing at all

2007-05-15T02:51:00.000+08:00

haay.

sana hindi na lang sya nagsalita o binati ako.

sana naging suplado na lang sya di ba para hindi na nabago pagtingin ko sa kanya nang mga oras na yun.

tignan mo nga naman...matagal din kami hindi nagkita. walang balita sa isa't isa. kung may komunikasyon man, sandali lang ang oras na nakalaan. matagal ko sya hindi nakita para magulat ako (at kabahan?) nang nakita ko sya kanina sa simbahan at nakasabay sa jeep. gusto ko ang pananamit nya ngayon. gusto ko rin ang ayos ng kanyang buhok. hindi tulad dati na laging alinsunod sa patakaran ng eskwelahan ang haba at gupit ng buhok. sa aking paningin naging "cool" na sya ngayon. sa porma, sa tindig at lalo na sa buhok.

maaari ko na masabi sa sarili ko na may gusto na ako sa kanya sa sandaling iyon.

ngunit nagbago ang lahat nang binati nya ako sa nang makita ako. sya pa rin pala ang dati kong kilala. nakakatawa. ngunit naisip ko rin hindi sa tagal na naming hindi nakita, hindi na namin kilala ang isa't isa. hindi tulad dati na sobrang lapit talaga namin sa isa't isa. naaalala ko pa dati, sabay kami sa pagpasok at pag-uwi. hindi matapos tapos ang aming mga kwentuhan na kadalasan ay tungkol sa mga aralin. natatandaan ko pa nga lagi kami nag-aaway. laging may debate. pero hanggang salita lang naman. wala akong naaalala na nagkasaman talaga kami ng loob.

tatlong taon kami nagkasama. siya ang naging personal tutor ko. magaling naman talaga kasi sya. walang asignatura ang mahirap para sa kanya. at ginagawa nyang madali ang lahat para sa'kin. siya na rin ang tagasundo at hatid sa akin sa mga araw na walang pasok at walang service. siya ang lagi kong kasama sa library, sa canteen o sa paglalakad lakad tuwing uwian habang hinihintay ang pagdating ng service. totoong madami kaming pinagsamahan.

ang hindi ko talaga malilimutan ay siya ang unang naniwala na may kakayahan ako magsulat. at dahil sa kanya, nagawa ko ang isang sulatin na maituturing kong isa sa pinakamaganda kong ginawa.

bakit kasi kailangan pa sya mawala? akala ko magiging magkaibigan kami nang matagal. kahit papaano, ayoko mang aminin, namiss ko din naman sya. sa totoo nahirapan ako noong nawala na sya. wala na kasi akong personal tutor.

maibabalik pa ba ang dating samahan?

reminiscing the past, enjoying the present

2007-05-15T02:50:00.000+08:00

WOW! this day could never be more tiring. seeing the people you shared your life with for the past 5 years, until now, just felt so exasperating. how i love those guys. i miss them so much!

seeing them and being with them again make me feel something weirdo inside. there were people you are dying to see again but, of course there were the people you least expected to see. anyway, laughing with them again make me super happy today!

yeah, they may be forever hooked on calling me "B16". i wonder when will be the time Sapphire boys will consider me no longer one of them. annoying it may be, but, duh, i miss those days in highschool! there's nothing i would give up for me being "B16"!

i also miss the fun i had with the Sapphire girls. and yep, especially with the BERKS! (hahaha). anyway, past is past. i can only laugh whenever i would remember that "cold war".

seeing one of my classmate enters the adult stage, i couldn't help but to feel sad but at the same time happy. sad because we are no longer kids. we may become a person we still not know. i was happy because we are already here at this stage but nevertheless, we are still celebrating and having fun together.

guys, you just don't know how you make me happy today.

to ate rejz, happy 18th birthday.

wait until 40

2007-05-15T02:49:00.000+08:00

last night, my siblings, ate beth and I watched the movie "kung ako na lang sana" (by aga muhlach [again] and sharon cuneta [did i mention that i'm a sharonian?]). the movie was kinda cool. imagine the two of them have been best friends since highschool only to find out that they are in love to one another after so many years. (well, sharon has a crush on aga eversince) what i don't understand is why do they have to reach their late 30's just to know who they really love.

the part in the story which i like most was when sharon and her friend talked about getting in love for the shortest possible time because they were already reaching 36. no boyfriends, no flings, no anything just a successful career and an empty big house. i was like smiling to myself while saying, "sana naman hindi mangyari sa'kin yan." but there's a possibility.

why? with mom wanting me not to have a boyfriend until i reach 35 years of age, how could it not be possible? yeah, it may sound totally absurd but honestly, mom is serious about it, more or less. seriously.

i understand she wasn't able to enjoy the life of singlehood because she married my pa early, right after her graduation i think. and now she's not with us, i know she's just afraid what if something happens to me. she's always reminding me of this, that, those...etc. it hurts sometimes because i'm really, really, really, reeaally dead serious about having no commitments...until i graduate from college. (i can't wait until my 35th year..what am i then? an old fart??!).

besides i have plenty of reasons to stay single and happy.

should i be proud?

2007-05-15T02:48:00.000+08:00

lately i've been winning a lot of times in spider solitaire, which i only learned to play last sunday. i'm winning nth times in a row. arrgghh...should i be proud of this? it only proves that i don't have anything good to do, even worthwhile.

maybe i should think of someways to spend my summer worthwhile. if only the heat of the sun would lessen. (blame global warming!)

dramatic hang-over

2007-05-15T02:47:00.000+08:00

i've just watched the movie all my life again. (by aga muhlach & kristine hermosa). it never failed to make me cry for the second time. although i already know the story plot, i wonder why i shed my tears on that movie again. (hmmpf...)

thinking the movie over, i admit it's indeed heart-touching one...of how great a love can be...

i wish i could also have that love...when right time comes.

what now?

2007-05-15T02:46:00.000+08:00

having two kids in college with only a parent working...seems pretty tough huh. i wonder if what i could do. i know for a fact we could still get on even there are three of us in college but ma is worried and she fears the "what ifs". it get me worried, too. of course, i'm the acting eldest, so the eldest child responsibilities and expectations are on me.

i am thinking if i should get a job. well, there's nothing wrong with me working even on part-time. but my schedule especially on school days bothers me. especially now there would be more school works to meet. and there is that RLE/duty. i don't think i can managed my time well if i study and work at the same time. thinking of what happened in my freshman year is already overwhelming, then how about the years to come?

if i am thinking if i should work, the remedy to my problem in study-work conflict is that i would be an irregular student. that is, i would not take some subjects so my hours in work and study would be balanced. the problem with that is: my expected time of graduation would be delayed.

i don't think i can study and work at the same time because my course would not allow it. as far as how i foresee it, it is impossible for me to be a working-student if i am a student nurse. this is what i hate in nursing. time devotion is very important. if only nursing is as free as other courses.

honestly, i am thinking of getting a job also because of my younger sister. i am being unfair to her. i am studying in manila. in a well-known university, while she would be stuck here in laguna, mainly because of me. she was assigned to call up my aunt so that she could be her (my aunt's) scholar. i feel guilty every time she asks "bakit si ate hindi ginawa un?" (how come 'ate' didn't need to do it?) yeah, i enrolled in my first year without thinking about those things.

maybe i should take this easter triduum as my time to think, as well as work things out.

good as it gets

2007-05-15T02:45:00.001+08:00

when someone loves you, does it mean you have to give that love back?

maybe i'm confuse. there's a part of me that don't like to see him again, but there's still that wanting inside. i want to see him again for me to say sorry...for the hang-ups, frustrations, false hopes i unconsciously or maybe consciously gave to him. it's not that i don't have any feeling towards him at all. true, i feel something for him, and i know what i feel is for us to be just friends...like we use to be. good friends and nothing more..or less.

if i could just make it up for him...there's that guilty feeling inside, of course. but if i would fall in love, i don't want it to be 'forced'. it is a shame of loving someone just because guilt or necessity because he/she loves you. i don't think it's good.

if only i could tell my self who to like. funny, i would always fall for somebody whom i hardly know his full name. i mean, i prefer to like somebody i know nothing about rather than those who i am sure of. sigh. why is it like this?

right now i do't have somebody to call 'mine'. but it's ok. i got my family and friends. i can get along with that, for now, tomorrow, or even forever...

intervention of the divine

2007-05-15T02:44:00.001+08:00

at last! grades for the 2nd sem are now online. guess what? i've made it!!! i don't know if my computations are correct but based on my computation, i made it to the Dean's List! it showed i have an average of 1.61. well, anyway if my computations are all wrong, i can take back "i made it to the Dean's List!" anytime.

really, i'm soooo happy. it's like i've won in the oscar's. even better than that. ha! if there's something i want to thank, it is JESUS, in the form of the BLACK NAZARENE in Quiapo. wow, just thinking about the sacrifices and effort i've made every monday afternoon to hear the mass in Quiapo. this is a miracle. really. honestly, i was not consistent in hearing the mass in Quiapo due to school works and schedule. nevertheless, He heard my pleas. i can't express my gratitude for Him. i can't thank Him enough. feels like i could sing and dance for Him!

before the 2nd sem starts, i was feeling down due to the 0.04 grade surplus that forbade me to be in the DL. i've set a goal to have an average of 1.69 by the end of 2nd sem. that's why this is a miracle. God gave me 1.61 average!

i'm not being boastful here. my point is, if you want to reach a goal, depending on your own self /capabilities is not enough. sometimes, when all is said and done, all you need is divine intervention.

2007-05-15T02:43:00.001+08:00

TEN THINGS WHY I CHOOSE TO BE SINGLE:

1.) there's my mom. no plans of giving her a heart attack.

2.) i hate being checked upon, about whereabouts, what-abouts, whatever-abouts.

3.) i prefer to do things ON MY OWN.

4.) there's a lot more to study and to think about than thinking about that person.

5.) having a relationship is very time consuming. i need time to sleep, especially on school days.

6.) whenever i feel lonely, my good, smart and cute dogs are always on standby.

7.) having a lover's quarrel is bothersome. (just taking notes on the experiences of close friends.)

8.) i hate being submissive. (i'm the boss of myself!)

9.) there are a lot of cute guys to look after rather than sticking to one guy.

10.) boy friend's a lot better than boyfriend.

hardest thing to answer

2007-05-15T02:42:00.000+08:00

kadalasan ang pinakaunang tanong na tinatanong natin sa isang kaibigan o kakilala na matagal nang hindi nakita "KAMUSTA KA NA?"

isang simpleng tanong na ang kadalasang sagot "OK LANG". pero nararanasan mo rin ba na kapag tinatanong ka ng kamusta ka na, hindi mo alam kung ano isasagot at sa sobrang dami mong naiisip nag pinakamadaling isagot ay "Ok LANG" kahit sa totoo hindi naman talaga.

kung tutuusin naging pangkaraniwang tanong na lang ang "KAMUSTA KA NA?" sa daan, sa ym o sa text may magtatanong sa'yo na kung "KAMUSTA KA NA?" nakakatawang isipin na sa tuwing tinatanong ako nito hindi ko alam kung ano ang isasagot ko. wala. nagiging blanko isip ko. kamusta na nga ba ako? mey reflection period pa talagang kailangan.

tama. ang pinakamadaling sagot sa tanong na to "OK LANG". mas maikli pa nga minsan, "K LANG". bakit nga ba? kasi kung matagal na kayo hindi nagkita masasabi mo ba talaga kung ano na ang tunay na lagay mo? parang ang weirdo tignan kung sa tagal na hindi kayo nagkita umiyak ka na ng umiyak sa kausap mo kasi hindi ka OK talaga. isa pang dahilan kung bakit "OK LANG" ang magiging sagot: laging may kasunod na "BAKIT?" kung isasagot mo na masaya ka, itatanong kung bakit. kung isasagot mo na malungkot ka, may kasunod din na bakit. walang masama di ba? pero sa tingin mo ba handa ka sabihin ang dahilan kung bakit ka malungkot o masaya sa mismong sandaling iyon? isa pa, baka sa haba ng dahilan at kwento mo kakailanganin ng mahabang panahon. paano kung nakasalubong mo lang sya sa daan habang papatawid ka na ang taong nagtanong kung "KAMUSTA KA NA?"

parte na ng kultura ng mga pilipino ang magtanong ng "KAMUSTA KA NA?" kahit sa mabilisang pagkakasalubong lang sa kalsada. kahit sa kindergarten, isa sa pinakaunang english sentence na matututunan ng bata ay "HOW ARE YOU?" at ang isasagot dito ay automatic na "I'M FINE, THANK YOU". siguro medyo 'uzi' kasi talaga tayong mga pinoy. ok na tayo kapag sinagot na tayo ng "OK LANG" kahit mas kumplikado pa ang tunay na sagot ng kinakamusta.

ngayong nagkikitakita ulit kami ng mga classmates ko nung high school, lagi ako natitigilan kapag may nagtanong na ng "KAMUSTA KA NA?" mahirap makakuha ng matinong sagot mula sa akin kung ganito. kung gusto mo talaga ng matinong sagot sa tanong na to, madali lang un. umupo ka sa harap ko at makinig. saka mo malalaman kung kamusta na nga ba talaga ako.

*sa totoo lang, "KUMUSTA KA NA?" dapat ang tanong, hindi "KAMUSTA KA NA?" karamihan naman nasanay na sa "KAMUSTA KA NA?" kaya un na lang ang ginamit ko dito.

BLAG

2007-05-15T02:38:00.002+08:00

So summer vacation once again.

So I'm into writing once again.

So what?

It's been a while since I let my creative juices come out of my mind.

Yeah, I promise to continue what I like doing best. It's been a while also that I have been keeping things to myself only. There's no one to listen or to mind about it, especially if you are with people who do not think beyond their perceived thinking capabilities (if there are any...harhar).

Humility aside, it was like a bomb waiting to be released inside whenever you have a good point on something but of course, because of the narrow minds of which you are talking and living with, there's no other choice but to dismantle that bomb and accept the reality that there's nothing you can do about them. Period.

Anyway, now that I have the opportunity (or time) to do and say what I want, I would certainly like to grab this one. I know there's no assurance that someone would care to read or at least look at this webpage, but honestly, I don't care. As long as I am doing what I want, I won't give a damn if anyone would know what I am thinking. However, to all those who would care enough to read, sincere gratitude from me.

To start off, let me talk about the upcoming, much-awaited, star-studded, the most dramatic, the most suspense, and the most hilarious event of the year: 2007 election.

Nah, I don't like to think about the candidates, either for senator or local official. Here's another view of election: the voters.

According to the survey (SWS I think), the majority of the voters today are from ages 18-24, the youth. Whoever they would choose to vote, would surely win. No kidding.

But here's the catch...the youth, which is the largest part of the voters, is the "silent majority".

How many youth today from ages 18-24 are not registered to vote? Survey said it is in millions, but I think I don't need to know the exact numbers to prove it right. My brother, 19, has not yet registered. Many of my classmates in college, already 18 or 19, have not yet registered. People in the boarding house I am in, only one have been registered to vote. Many others I know about that are legitimate to vote are not yet registered.

This may be an old fact but certainly, not all knows or even aware about this. Why? They choose not be part of it and to take part on it.

The blame?

Youth said it is because of the government. With all those intrigues, corruption, anomalies and everything, youth said they have lost their trust and respect to the government. Whoever you vote, whether it is righteous, the strong crocodile will always win. Change for the good is impossible. So why bother to vote?

But I say, youth themselves (or ourselves) are the one to blame. The right to think alone does not depend whether your country is run by corrupt people. You think that your single vote will not count, and it will make a big impact if you are not alone in this philosophy. The power to vote for the person who you think will be good is a right and a privilege; one must not let go of it.

One person I know literally mocked me about this one. Of course, I was close to bursting. But I thought that it is no use to argue or to persuade about something to a narrow-minded person. (Hope she would not get to read this one!)

Why the need to vote? As I said earlier, voting is a right. With that right, it comes hand in hand with responsibility. For me, being a Filipino, it is also a responsibility to vote. Maybe I'm too nationalistic here, but this is what I believed in. Let me set this clear: I won't persuade someone to believe in the same thing I believed in. It is there choice and power to be aware or to idiotize their selves.

In 5 months I will be 18. Too bad I can't register yet. Anyhow, when my time comes, I would willingly oblige to my responsibility. Good news: we have the power to choose who we want to govern us. But as Uncle Ben of Spiderman said, "Great power comes great responsibility."

To end this one, I would like to share what I had seen in some posters during the past elections. This one made me think even though I was too young back then.

"Walang karapatang magreklamo ang hindi bumoto".

putting hopes on superficials

2007-05-15T02:38:00.001+08:00

(My highschool classmate Jane should be reading this one.)Recently I am fond of watching those Koreanovela which I bought on DVD. They're not bad actually as I had thought. Just imagine the feeling I get everytime the story now comes in the kilig part! (Hehehe!) Honestly, everytime I finish a DVD it feels good and at the same time I feel bad. I feel good because of all those romantic scenes...how two people met...how and why do they fall in love...how do they make up after a quarrel...and how the story finish happily ever after. After watching, I still recall those episodes and smile secretly. How I wish it could happen to me also! But why do I feel bad? It's because what I had just seen on the screen was the product of the idealistic mind of writers. I do not believe it could happen in real life. Just face it. Love...it's so hard to define. maybe it's too early for me to say this but love is really harsh. One should be prepared before feeling anything connected with love. With love, there's sacrifice, pain, responsibility, commitment, etc. There's more to love aside from the kilig moment.Anyways, I'll just continue to be an avid watcher of those Chinese-, Korean-, and Japanese- speaking characters of romantic soap operas. I'll just continue to feel good and appreciate the beautiful minds of writers.(Hehehe)

lie of a truth

2007-05-15T02:37:00.001+08:00

Karma really goes around. Earlier today in the evening news, an immigration official did some discourtesy that was ...let's just say something foolish. He picked the wrong kind of person - the President's daughter. What a laugh! If he has been thinking to be polite all the times and treat everyone equally and with respect, he would not be in the news today. Hahahaha! I really want to laugh. This should teach the immigrant officer a lesson and also to those who are so arrogant about their position. A fly is still a fly even if it is on top of a carabao.*I should take this opportunity to commend the President's daughter, Luli Macapagal. She did not use the name of her mother regarding this matter. This should be an example for everyone. Everybody is equal in the eyes of the law. (Yeah right..=P)

the beginning and the end of the unstarted

2007-05-15T02:35:00.000+08:00

Calling someone "bestfriend" really a matters to me. Ever since I had that bad experience regarding bestfriends, I never really had someone that I could call my bestfriend. I have no one to call my bestfriend since Gr.5. I prefer treating my friends the same. With equality perhaps. It seems to me I have that bestfriend thing problem. Everytime there would be a person who I want to consider my bestfriend, he or she disappear, literally or figuratively. Like now. I still haven't recover from the pain I had recently. How I wish I could never see that person again! I don't think I hold some grudge but I feel I don't have any face to meet that person anymore. I don't know why. Maybe it's me who have gone wrong. Or mabe it's really the other way around. However, I still want to keep that person as my friend. I mean it if I still want to treasure our frienship, although short-lived.We shared those hard, rough times. I shared good memories with that person too. We've shared those secrets that amazed, troubled, and shocked us. It's sad that that friendship just vanished like a bubble. Amidst the pain, I'm thankful to have that person to be my friend. I never expected that we could be close, that we could be good buddies. I admit that person hurt me a lot but I'm still thankful that our path had crossed. Until now, thinking of what had happened still make me cry. If someday, that person would come to me crying, I would welcome gladly, without resentment, because that person is my bestfriend and that's what friends are for.

2007-05-15T02:34:00.000+08:00

Maraming bagay ang nasa isip pero walang maisulat.Gusto ko sana sumali sa writing contest na un. Gusto ko -magsulat ng maituturing ko na obra. Katulad ng dati. Ngunit sa pagkakataong ito, parang pakiramdam ko isang ilog na natuyo na ang isipan ko. Naalala ko tuloy ang isa sa mga speaker sa maraming lecture ng napakinggan ko na. Tama siya. ang isang manunulat ay magaling lang kapag tuloy tuloy ang buhos ng mga ideya. Ngayon, nakaharap ako sa computer. Maraming ideya ngunit walang maisulat.Dahil nga contest, syempre nais ko rin na manalo. Ngunit paano ako mananalo nito kung wala akong maisasaling piyesa. Tingin ko hindi sapat ang mga nais kong isulat, na sa totoo ay hindi ko rin gusto. Haay. Magulo na siguro ang isip ko. Isa lang ang kailangan ko para makapagsulat: INSPIRASYON.

imbalances of a good-natured world

2007-05-15T02:33:00.000+08:00

Siguro may mga nilalang talaga na maswerte. Parang hindi sila apektado sa hirap ng buhay. Hindi talaga sila apektado. Yun na yun. Halimbawa na lang si Paris Hilton. Kahit anong gustuhin niya pwede niyang makuha. Ipinanganak na siya na mayaman, maganda, at sikat. Kahit aso may sariling alahas, damit at tulugan. S***! Maraming bata sa kalsada ang walang maayos na damit. Maraming pamilya ang walang tahanan. Milyon-milyon ang nagugutom sa buong mundo. Bakit naging ganito ang mga pangyayari. Kung ang mga katulad ni Paris Hilton ay makaisip na magbigay ng donasyon sa mga mahihirap na bansa, siguro kahit papaano mababawasan ang mga paghihirap ng mga tao. Nakakatawa talaga ang mundo.

friendship 101

2007-05-15T02:29:00.000+08:00

May mga pagkakaibigan na bigla na lang umusbong. Umusbong na parang kabute. Sa una sobrang estranghero sa isa't isa. Walang pansinan, ni walang ngitian. Kahit siguro mamamatay ang isa sa inyo wala paring pakialamanan. (Huwag sana mangyari pero kung talagang mangyayari, masasabi lang siguro nung buhay, "Ay, iyon ba? Oo, kilala ko sya. Hindi ko lang maalala ang pangalan pero kilala ko un sa mukha.") Ganun pa rin ang takbo ng buhay mawala man ang isang taong kilala mo lang sa mukha.

Ngunit nakakatawa talaga ang buhay. O baka ang mundo ang nakakatawa. Biruin mo, maaaring ung tao na kilala mo lang sa mukha dati ay maging isang sobrang lapit na kaibigan mo na ngayon. Yung tipong hindi kumpleto araw mo kung hindi siya magfo-forward ng quote, o mag-text man lang. Yung tipo ng kaibigan na kapag nawala mahirap na ituloy pa ang buhay. Isang araw maitatanong mo na lang, "Paano ba tayo naging close?" Yung dating hindi mo pinapansin at mahirap pa na ngitian ay matalik na kaibigan mo na ngayon. Siguro nga nakatakda na magiging magkaibigan kayo. Tipong hindi pwedeng hindi mangyari. Hah. Mahiwaga talaga ang buhay.

ako ba 'to?

2007-05-15T02:28:00.000+08:00

Bakit pag nasa stage ka ng pagiging in love hindi mo naiisip ang mga bagay na pwedeng mangyari? Ang alam mo lang masaya ka at ayaw mo nang matapos mga sandali na magkasama kayo. Hindi mo maiisip na maaring kang masaktan sa ginagawa mo. Hindi mo mamamalayan na nahuhulog pa lalo ang loob mo sa tao na nagpapasaya sa'yo. At kahit ano pang tanggi at pigil ang gawin mo sa nararamdaman mo, sa huli masasaktan ka rin. Subukan mo pang maging matalino sa pag-ibig na pilit na umuusbong, asahan mo talunan rin ang labas mo.